The Absurd Tweets Of Men {Link-Up #4} *

So in honor of Shit Men Say ( I can’t believe it’s already Vol. 4!!) I’m sharing just a few of the weird things my husband has said in the last month on Twitter. While I typically troll both his Facebook AND Twitter accounts for inspiration, I was feeling slightly unmotivated today. Plus, his Twitter account is always more humorous because it’s only geared towards his male counterparts. AKA – Dumb Friends with similar senses of humor. I believe next month I will just troll ALL of their Tweets too and you can get a good idea of where I’m coming from. #CanIDoThat?

Regardless of the laws on privacy and stalking my friends tweets. . . I still imagine it to be a hefty post. While I work in Social Media and could spend an afternoon alone posting all the stupid shit men say on the accounts I manage, I digress. (I believe that’s grounds for termination.) #ILikeMyJob. But seriously, SO stupid. Anyhow, back to my husband, who hasn’t gained any intelligence since we last spoke:

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He really does sing the Canadian National Anthem EVERY SINGLE TIME we watch a hockey game. It’s absurd. I do appreciate his passion for song though and his vocal efforts are astounding. #WhyILoveHim. 

Anyhow, if you haven’t already- I highly suggest checking out the link-up: “Shit Men Say”. Created by the lovely Amanda over at Voyage of the MeeMee and Danae at Duh!Danae! – You will NOT be disappointed. These two are talented and the ladies that link-up each month are equally hilarious. It’s a great way to reflect laugh your ass off  at your relationship and the important man in your life!

What are some stupid things your man has said? Lookin’ For a Laugh!!

 

Cheers, 

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I Don’t Believe You *

Hello again! While it wasn’t exactly my plan to fly off the radar for the last 5 days, it definitely wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen. I planned on  posting yesterday but my internet was absolute crap (Thank the Lord it was taken care of early this AM) and I in no way could make a post or access the outside world. #SocialMediaCareerProblems.

No seriously though, not a single thing was accomplished at work or in my personal world. I would never wish a broken server on anyone, especially in a professional Social Media / Online Company atmosphere.

So to kick of confessions, I would first like to admit that I enjoyed my time off. While some of you may have noticed that I did make a post on Monday, it was truthfully a re-blog from an amazing story over on evoL=. It’s not that I didn’t plan on posting, I just felt that this incredible story of a close friend was worth overriding whatever nonsense garbage I would have otherwise considered feeding you people. Regardless, it’s been since Friday that I’ve really put any thought into blogging so, #SorryNotSorry. I needed this. It was an incredibly relaxing weekend, the weather finally broke for a few days and I relished my valuable time enjoying the first few seconds of Spring.

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Next: I have been carpooling with my husband to work as of late. It’s only Wednesday (Day Three) and it’s been Hell. I have a career that doesn’t require me to be in office at 8am. . .  I typically stroll in around 10am. #ThankGodForStartUpCulture. Today? 7:20 am and I’m getting dropped down town. #FML. I am NOT a morning person. The best part? My office isn’t even occupied until 9am. Instead of asking for a key and chilling in the creepy office alone I have found pure enjoyment in kickin’ it at the Coney Island each morning and people watching. They also have no Wifi. Bad? No, not really. It’s actually forcing me to spend more time creating prints for my Etsy shop. The growth I’ve produced in only 3 days by spending an additional 2 hours each morning on something I love has been astonishing. #TheUpside.

I ran a Facebook promotion for my side business. . . I hated it. I work in social yet I despise social media because of it. I thought I would give Facebook another chance for my personal side business – as they have dicked me over in my professional world time and again – WHAT a waste of life. (Oh, and $5.) Seriously though, I can’t stop verbally attacking FB today, or any day. It’s like word vomit and I don’t even . . .

Moving On: My daughter finally used the potty this weekend! #Yay! Our dog immediately followed up the celebration by eating the baby’s shit OUT of the potty. #Boo.

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I’m being a super slacker already. I’m writing this post as I sit on a couch in my office listening to one of the owners speak out of his ass about our company to a bunch of IT students from a local community college. I feel slightly guilty as I set up this event with the college placement dept. and elected him to speak (since he loves to hear himself talk). He’s honestly really good at BS’ing and it’s the perfect event for such a vibrant individual with such a colorful personality -no he’s not gay, just obnoxious in a good way- that is until we realized he knows nothing about Information Technology. #WingItBaby! #ILoveMyJob. But seriously, I must have missed the part where it was going to be only IT students. #Woops?

I had my hair colored last Thursday. I love it. I can’t stop looking at it. It could be my favorite color ever and I don’t even care if I’m being a vain Bitch right now. #ILookGood.

I sit next to a kid (he’s literally 21) named Andrew at my work who answers customer calls. He never believes me when I tell him he looks like Carl from Walking Dead (probably because he doesn’t watch the show) . . . until I found this hat, took these pictures and made this collage. #TheEnd. I would also like to note that Carl is a little rat and for any of you that watch the show, he ALMOST deserved what he was about to get on the season finale. . . Almost.

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I have 3 showers for the next 3 weekends. I’m already annoyed and I haven’t even decided on what I’m going to wear yet. #TheWorstPart – I seriously hate dressing up in general and baby/wedding showers seem to be my biggest downfall.

Lastly,

I stole the photos and URL’s for today’s  link-ups (provided below) from Amanda over at Voyage of the MeeMee‘s blog because I was too lazy to scroll through my 300+ unread blogs to find each of your posts. . . I swear I will read them in a hot second, just let me get this off the press first. #ItsBeen5Days! #Thanks. XO.

If you have something to get off your chest on this beautiful little Wednesday, make sure you stop on over at Vodka And Soda for Kathy’s Weekly “Humpday Confessions” and link-up any post your heart desires with Liz From Fitness Blondie for her weekly Hump Day Blog Hop!!

 

Cheers,

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