Cats Rule & Dogs Drool {#SMS: Link-Up #5}

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As some of you may know, I’m a die-hard dog person. (Sorry if I just lost all my crazy cat lady followers – you will be missed #probablynot). But honestly, cats have never really been my “thing” and while this post’s title may confuse the masses, it’s more in direct correlation to the wonderfulness that is today’s link-up: Sh*t Men Say with Voyage of the MeeMee and Duh Danae!

A classic story of Male Vs. Female, Homeward Bound was never truly about the Cat vs. Dog scenario (although I’m sure you thought so when you were 5). It’s underlying tones were much to that of the traditional punch lines associated with this link-up and can correlate directly in conjunction with men being stupid, stupid creatures. . . . no matter what species we’re referring to. Now trust me when I say that I know for a fact today’s post was supposed to include things that I say, not my husband. . . but if you’ve been keeping any kind of tabs on my blog then you’ll know these past few weeks have been a complete embarrassment. AKA – I’m lazy. While I did in fact have every intention of letting him air his dirty laundry, I just straight up forgot. In hopes to make up for my absent-minded actions to date, I’ll indulge you all with our One Year Anniversary recap (see at bottom) to bore the living hell out of you, and then hopefully you’ll forget all about my irresponsible behavior. . . . With that being said, here are a few of the hilarious yet brutally funny things that my husband has muttered in the past 4 weeks:

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Ok, so cereal? It’s not even up for debate any more. . . .it just is. I used to think he was insane but I now too indulge in cereal at all times of day. My only concern is when he repeatedly forgoes dinner for a bowl of Corn Pops. #NotOk. #ISlavedOverAHotStove. #NoIDidntImLying. The Lucky Charms post made my life. I wasn’t home to witness her initial process but I’m pretty sure it went like it does for all of us. . . . it’s only a matter of seconds before any living, breathing human realizes that the mallows are clearly superior. #ConfidentShesTheNextSteveJobs. The Raptor throwing the first pitch? Absolutely amazing. A clear representation of why I love the internet. #AndMyHusband. The Wire? I don’t even know. For the past 2 weeks I’ve been getting a lot of backlash regarding my lack in effort to catch up on his new-found obsession. . . . He started the Netflix binge last weekend, I’ll forever be behind. Plus, does anyone even know if this show’s any good? I don’t want to waste my time. #ImImportant. The last guy. . . . well I don’t even know. Pj’s vine account is priceless and this random man getting so God damn passionate to the National Anthem just makes my day. It clearly made his too.

So in conclusion, men are still hilariously dumb and with that being established you can now head over to the link-up and get in on the action. This only happens once a month ladies, don’t be late! #ThatsWhatSheSaid. #GrossJoke #IHopeImNotLate.

Anyhow, on to the promised boredom that is our anniversary and maybe a little Mother’s Day recap too! Bus seriously, it was fantastic. While we didn’t do anything crazy expensive, or even all that extraordinary to celebrate our first year as a married couple, we did make the most of our time together. . . and that’s all that matters right?

So first, let me explain: Our anniversary was on the 11th, but so was Mother’s Day. Me, being the stingy bitch that I am proposed we celebrate our anniversary “one day early” in order to avoid any confusion in the gift giving process – I was to have two SEPARATE gifts – clearly stated in our invisible wedding anniversary may sometimes overlap with mother’s day agreement. Duh. You can’t combine mom and wife gifts. . . even though clearly my 2-year-old wasn’t shopping for my new Cricut alone. Regardless, it was just easier. Plus, we had like ten thousand other people to worry about on Mother’s day (our Moms of course, each apparently = the value of 5,000 humans – #ILoveToExaggerate) and I didn’t want to share a day about us with a day about them, or ME. Days about me are limited in number.

So back to the Anniversary: We exchanged gifts in bed. . . .nothing better than waking up to a sun-filled comforter covered in personal presents! As we are incredibly impatient in this house when it comes to gifting, we had to get this out-of-the-way immediately. It’s amazing we even made it to the day before. . .

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I got: A Tiffany & Co. titanium ring to match the hubby’s wedding band. It was an extremely cute and creative idea on his part and I couldn’t have been happier. It’s so cute!

He got: An Armani Exchange Watch & A Boudoir Photo Shoot Book or “Little Black Book” as I would coin it. . . . I don’t want to give away all the surprises (it’s for his eyes only!) but below is just one of the many images taken last year on our wedding day!

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Next, we got to golf! It was my first time out all season and with  my new Pink Cobra Driver no less! We just grabbed a quick 18 at our local least favorite course, but hey, it was open, affordable and easy access to the sitters. . . plus we got out on an amazing afternoon and it was a blast! He said we tied, I think I won. #NotEntirelySure.

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Lastly, we hit up our local P.F. Changs and finally used a gift card given to us over 2 years ago at our Engagement Party. . . . we are total slackers. Seriously, I can’t believe it took us this long to have a date night but hey, sometimes it’s just not possible. We totally got down on the superb lettuce wraps, cali rolls and some Thai dishes for dinner. . . .desert was a honey inspired fruit smoothie. #ICouldDie. Afterwards we decided to see Neighbors. It was better than we had anticipated and the amount of times that Zac Efron went shirtless were both incredible and just outright absurd. Happy Pre-Mommy’s Day To Me! I wonder if Pj picked this movie on purpose . . . how thoughtful of him. #WifeLife. Regardless, it was the perfect film for two noob parents that like to party. . . . basically: best day ever, and we totally deserved an entire day to ourselves. It’s probably been an entire year since it’s happened!

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So incredibly lucky to have this amazing man in my life. While I may spend a quick half-minute bashing his manliness every month, I do truly adore my amazing Pj. ♥

Finally was Mother’s Day: I won’t spend a ton of time on this as I’m sure any of you that have a mother (all of you) know how this works. I will say though that my daughter is the cutest thing on earth. . . .and incredibly talented at making breakfast in bed- and doing the dishes to boot! #Winning.

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*Recap: Breakfast in bed, Paige doing the dishes (we made cupcakes together), a new Cricut, working from the patio, prepping flowers for our moms, nap time with ZaZa, visiting some of the grandmas, sidewalk chalk and fun family photos! #SoBlessed.

I hope you all enjoyed your wonderful weekend as well and please, get on over to the link-up and join in on the fun that these girls have created!! Also, if you have time, stop on by the Let’s Be Friends Blog Hop With The Dwelling Tree to meet some exciting and fun new people. . . I’ve been joining for the last month or so, it’s a great group of people!

Cheers,

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The Absurd Tweets Of Men {Link-Up #4} *

So in honor of Shit Men Say ( I can’t believe it’s already Vol. 4!!) I’m sharing just a few of the weird things my husband has said in the last month on Twitter. While I typically troll both his Facebook AND Twitter accounts for inspiration, I was feeling slightly unmotivated today. Plus, his Twitter account is always more humorous because it’s only geared towards his male counterparts. AKA – Dumb Friends with similar senses of humor. I believe next month I will just troll ALL of their Tweets too and you can get a good idea of where I’m coming from. #CanIDoThat?

Regardless of the laws on privacy and stalking my friends tweets. . . I still imagine it to be a hefty post. While I work in Social Media and could spend an afternoon alone posting all the stupid shit men say on the accounts I manage, I digress. (I believe that’s grounds for termination.) #ILikeMyJob. But seriously, SO stupid. Anyhow, back to my husband, who hasn’t gained any intelligence since we last spoke:

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He really does sing the Canadian National Anthem EVERY SINGLE TIME we watch a hockey game. It’s absurd. I do appreciate his passion for song though and his vocal efforts are astounding. #WhyILoveHim. 

Anyhow, if you haven’t already- I highly suggest checking out the link-up: “Shit Men Say”. Created by the lovely Amanda over at Voyage of the MeeMee and Danae at Duh!Danae! – You will NOT be disappointed. These two are talented and the ladies that link-up each month are equally hilarious. It’s a great way to reflect laugh your ass off  at your relationship and the important man in your life!

What are some stupid things your man has said? Lookin’ For a Laugh!!

 

Cheers, 

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Bracketology Is NOT A Science *

Today I would like to share with you the science behind Bracketology. For any of you that may participate in the chaos that is the NCAA’s “March Madness”, or for those of you who just stand by and watch the men in your life go absolutely ape-shit over a meaningless month of basketball. . . let me be the first to tell you: it’s futile-silly-&-stupid. BUT this year –THIS YEAR– it could be worth a BILLION dollars. SO in that case, let’s go over a few pointers.

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I take part in the study of “Bracketology” ever spring. It’s a fruitless endeavor for me, never actually capturing a win. As I type this, I’m actually considering the fact that I’m last person worthy of soliciting such advice. . . . then I remember; even the victorious has not a F’ing clue how they got there. March Madness is for EVERYONE. Seriously. You don’t have to follow the sport of college basketball – you can seriously be as dumb as a cat and pick your teams. Don’t believe me? Look:

Screen Shot 2014-03-18 at 4.14.36 PMSeriously though, if you want to see how the cat picks end up follow along here. It’s not a science, it’s not a study. Studying the act of chance is like T-Rex attempting to row a boat. It’s completely irrelevant in the world of luck. So how, may you ask, are we going to achieve anything by studying? Well, my friends. . . . a few facts that can help you in the game of brackets:

  1. There are 64 Teams, 32 predictions and 1:9,223,372,036,854,775,808 chances of getting a perfect bracket. In other words, #GoodLuckWinningABillion.
  2. Teams are seeded based on their season standings 16-1 in each conference. 1 = the best. #Duh.
  3. “Upsets” are when a lower seeded team beats a higher seeded team. Some people try to predict upsets but your safest bet is staying inside the chalk AKA 1 beats a 2, 8 beats an 11, 14 beats a 16, etc.
  4. If you are a female playing in a mainly male dominant bracket pool, pick a few “upsets” in the first round. Sure you might be wrong but if you pick purely on seed you’re throwing yourself to the wolves. Be a little gutsy . . . AKA stupid. Men surely are and they somehow find you to be “sports smart” when going against the odds? #ThisDefiesAllLogic. #MenAreStupid. Just be sure to keep upsets in your first round as these games are worth fewer points if you’re wrong- (See Rule 6 Below).
  5. A #16 team has never knocked out a #1 team. #Ever. So don’t go getting all Cinderella Story. It’s all about probability and then again, total chance. But no, not every matchup is 50:50 so be realistic.
  6. Scoring Points Are (Typically) As Follows: First Round (1) – Second Round (2) – Sweet Sixteen (4) – Elite Eight (8) – Final Four (16) – National Champion (32)
  7. You CAN and should pick teams based on if you like the coach’s hair.
  8. You are allowed to pick outcomes based on team mascot. I prefer the Georgetown Bulldog over the Florida Gator. #JustSaying #ImADogPerson
  9. It’s ok to cheat- if that’s what you want to call it. I spend hours and hours “researching” other sport analyst’s brackets and then turn around and use that shit to create my own work of art. Some guy thinks that Gonzaga’s a worthy upset? This team injured their best player? Some big-shot at Bleacher Report feels Baylor’s offense is more reputable than Wisconsin’s forward? (What’s a forward?) ESPN is calling for the Spartans? SURE, Why not? #SeeWhatIMean. #NoIdea.
  10. If all else fails just flip a coin.
  11. Pick teams you like. If you graduated from Florida I’m not going to be surprised if you have them going ALL THE WAY. It’s all for fun!

But seriously, in the world of sports, nothing is certain. Brackets around the world will be filled out time and again this week and nobody -no really- nobody will have any idea of what to expect until the clock starts ticking down.

A few helpful sites to check out are:

Deciding how to run an office bracket? Tips and Tricks HERE.

For anything and everything you could possibly need to know about college basketball click HERE.

How to Legally Win a Billion Dollars From Warren Buffet – The real life details and breakdown of this billion dollar bracket found HERE.

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Above is a sample of my personal bracket that I submitted not only to my annual ESPN Pool (Friends & Gambling), but also to the Quicken Loans Billion Dollar Bracket Challenge. Hey, everyone deserves a chance at a billion bucks! Plus it’s free so why wouldn’t you at least try? Cats can do it, so can you! #DontTakeMyPicksBitches! While I had a few minor upsets, I chose my teams mainly on outside predictions and personal interest. Again, I have no chance in hell but this shit is fun. Not to mention, I’m from Michigan and nothing would be better then a MSU vs. UofM brawl for the national title. #ShitWouldBeCray. I also decided on the name “#WakeMeWhenIWinABillion”. Hashtag, for the win!

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So if you’re at all interested in getting in on that office pool, gambling with the boys or just want to have a better understanding of how it is that March Madness has taken on such an absurd following, I will be here all spring to answer any and all questions! While I’m no expert, neither is the next guy! #Truth. OH and to get in on the Billion Dollar Bracket Challenge click on the link above or visit by clicking the photo below. FYI: I charge a 10% referral fee or a small yacht if any of you win. Your choice, Probs cheaper to get me the yacht. #JustSayin.

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Do any of you take part in March Madness? What is some of your best advice or questions? Share in the comments!

Cheers, 

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Stuff That Comes Out Of My Husband’s Face – Link-Up #3*

Ok so I know I’m totally late to the game tonight but better late than never right? Plus, I have a good excuse! Besides being completely and insanely busy at work, I spent the evening with many of my favorite girlfriends including Amanda over at Voyage Of The MeeMee (who’s co-hosting this Link-Up) for some type of Jewelry Party. (No, I have no idea what type of party, I didn’t buy anything because I was too busy tending to my Award Winning Oscar Star two year old with a skinned knee who limped around the party for 3 hours. NO Paige, a skinned knee doesn’t warrant loss of limb use. Love you pumpkin!) Either way, the co-owner of this Link-Up can vouch for me, and to Danae at Duh!Danae, I’m sorry. I swear I’ll be on top of things next month! On that note, party was fun . . . good excuse to get out of the house. #GirlTime.

So here it is ladies, a few of my husband’s prime examples of verbal vomit that make my day:

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Ok so I have to agree with The Kroll Show being absolutely horrible, nobody caring about women’s hockey #SorryItsTrue, Game Of Throne’s prediction that “Winter Is Coming”- this is just getting out of hand, the statement that Tigger is seriously bat-shit crazy in The Tigger Movie #SeriouslyJustWatchThatShit, that hanging pictures is NOT his favorite pass time (bitching ensued after he helped me finish off my new Craft Room), but I have NO idea what the hell this NBC show with the blind man is OR anything about the penis purchase.

Regardless, he makes me laugh and I hope he can make a few of you laugh too! If you want to get in on this Link-Up I seriously suggest it. Even with a lack of sleep #FOffDaylightSavings, I can honestly say that I didn’t want to miss out, it’s a blast! Just visit either ladies Blog above and get in on the action. . .just do it.

On that note, I’m out. Sleep tight bitches! 

Cheers! 

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Sh*t Men Say {Link Up #2} *

So it’s the Second Tuesday of the month and I can’t lie when I say that I’ve been anxiously awaiting this link up all week. Amanda over at Voyage Of The MeeMee & Danae over at Duh! Danae! have kicked off their 2nd ever “Sh*t Men Say” Link Up! It’s a fun filled Tuesday to say the least and it’s the most entertaining of ways to make fun of your man. . . or some man . . . any man really.

With out further ado I present you some of the most manly stupid things my husband has mentioned in his #Twitterverse since last month . . . .

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Pj’s dream (along with 1/2 of his friends) is to one day be an Olympian. A Olympic Curler rather, but anyway you hash it, an Olympic Athlete. While I outwardly laugh (very loudly) at him and his friends for this ambitious and unrealistic goal, I  do however pride myself in having a man with such passion and perseverance. While none of them have yet to actually pick up a curling stick, it’s not entirely impossible they obtain this goal in the next 2 decades as some of the U.S. Curlers only started the sport in 2009. #5YearOlympicPlan #WhatTheHell?

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This is the point in which men (from all walks of life) outwardly express their frustration with Olympic classification. It’s okay hunny, I don’t know what the difference is either.

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I think (and hope) this was in reference to cooking his 5lb tube of over processed burger meat for his annual “Super Bowl Sloppy Joes”.  If only I had set up live wire during the annual 9 hours of “Man Time” AKA our Super Bowl Party, I could honestly write an entire blog on Sh*t Men Say daily. . . . for the next 3 Years. #YChromosomes.

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I’m sure this was in reference to when PJ and his father attended the Red Wings game back in January. . . . while men try to sympathize with the other “poor saps” during such horrific events, it’s apparently forgotten that they too have their moments. It is however unfortunate that this female was found to be not “hot” . . . indeed Poor Sap. #PoorPoorSap

So there you have it- A few of my favorite monthly updates on the Man in my life and the Shit that he Says! If you’re looking for a fun little Tuesday tradition to get in on, I highly suggest popping over to these ladies Link Ups and partaking on the fun! It’s always fun to poke a little fun!

So stop what you’re doing (or not doing) and link your shit up, it’s bound to make your afternoon a little lighter with a lot of laughter! #TrustMe. If not, good luck to you on all your mid-week endeavors (I hope you fall off a cliff). #YepIJustSaidThat.  Happy Tuesday!

Cheers!

 – C

“In Golf, As In Life. . . . . *

. . .It Is The Follow Through That Makes The Difference.” – Author Unknown.

Love Golf Ball

Today is Sneak Peak day into my OBSESSION with the game of golf. What sparks this post you say? Oh I dunno. . . . how about the BEST birthday present a Wifey could ask for!! That’s right ladies. . . my husband knows me very well. While it’s currently snowing mind you- no seriously look at a radar for Detroit, I am still very much excited for the season to begin. With golf shows just around the corner and my office ramping up for the 2014 season, it’s no surprise that I’m already anticipating that first sweet, summer round! With all this being said. . . I present you the happiest birthday present I could have asked for- “The Pink Princess”.

Cobra Amp Cell Driver

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Pink Princess – AKA The Cobra Amp Cell Driver with MyFly Technology. Adjustable trajectory and distance, this beautiful little monster can adjust your drive loft anywhere from 11.5-14.5 degrees with additional draw capabilities.  This driver also features SmartPad technology which delivers a square face at address regardless of loft setting and E9 technologies frees up additional weight for a 12% larger effective face, delivering faster ball speeds on mis-hits. Basically in English this thing is as powerful as it is SEXY. 

While I’m a little nervous to transition back to a Ladies Driver, I can’t help but be ecstatic over this colorful bundle of joy. While senior shafts (Golf Lingo Ladies – Lets Not Go Down That Road #GetYourHeadOutOfTheGutter) are typically my go to for the past 9 years, I have become especially fond of the colorful selections that PUMA Golf has put together in the last few seasons -Thanks Ricki Fowler, Your Colorful Attire Makes My Life. Of course colorful clubs shall never undermine your selection process, it’s only fair that I dabble in the market! I’ve hit the same TaylorMade R5 Driver since 2004 – That’s Right, When the Pistons won the Championship (That’s How I Paid For The Bad Boy) and it’s literally about time (more like 3 seasons ago) that I got a new driver. While my putter and irons are only a few season old, I’ve had a rather difficult time deciding on what to do about my #1. . . always teetering back and forth between Ladies and Men’s. Both have their upsides and downsides. Knowing I was bound to have a case of insta-gret immediately following the purchase, it was never made.

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Thank goodness PJ decided for me and got me something I truly adore. . . . sometimes the best gifts are the things you would never buy yourself! I am both confident and excited to get to the range and master the “Pink Princess”. It’s been a long while since I smashed a Chicky-Poo Wood but I can’t wait to get back at it. I literally have stared at this thing +5 minutes every day since it’s been gifted to me and my doubts of flex and loft have quickly been pushed aside by Pink-on-Pink-on-Pink. I even purchased some girly pink balls to match. . . . who knew?! (Typically you will NEVER see me buy girly balls, I find them annoying and feel that typically only the worst women golfers make such a purchase. . . . but this is a special occasion.) PLUS I’ll be confidently out-driving all the boys. . . . with a pink ball. #GeeImRealSorry #HowEmbarassingForYou. #SorryNotSorry.

Pink Callaway Balls

Are any of you golfers? Would you like to learn?

I would love to help give pointers and hope to someday have a Ladies Golf Blog for all those interested in learning the game, learning the lingo. . . . .or hell, just learning golf cart “drinking etiquette”- Something any and all women should learn. A total game changer! #PlusThatShitIsFun!

For the Love of Golf

Thanks again husband, it was a wonderful Birthday as always and I can’t wait for the snow to melt! 

Cheers!

– C

Holy Rojo & A Gotta Love Your Husband Kinda Friday *

Happy Weekend Mother Friday’s! I personally cannot WAIT for dinner tonight. It’s hubby’s birthday and he decided on Mexican. While you don’t know me all that well (yet). . . . Mexican is by far my favorite feast of feasts.  A simple Irish gal, I feel as if my taste buds were exchanged at birth with that of a 90 year old Mexican man. I crave this shit. It’s not even normal. While I was tempted by the Cheddar Bay bundles of love earlier this week, I’m ecstatic about his decision and to make up for it, I’ll be picking up some of the mix tomorrow. . . I’ll let you know how it compares to the real Red Lobster. 

So Rojo, I don’t know much about it. I’ve only eaten here once, on Taco Tuesday. It was a spur of the moment idea with my friend Carrie and we enjoyed more Coronas than we did Tacos. It’s supposed to be an upscale Mexican spot I suppose? While my heart will always be with Sagebrush, (we’ll talk about that later) I  can’t comprehend driving 45 minutes to dinner. Rojo is close, convenient and looks extremely tasty. I’ve heard good things. . . . let the drooling begin. 

Birthday Dinner

So anyhow, yes. It’s my husband, Pj’s Birthday. He’s 31 #Old. We don’t exchange gifts until midnight tonight (My Birthday’s Tomorrow –  Just a fun little tradition we started) but I did happen to give him one gift early. A Bath Robe. Yes, that’s when you know you’re old. But seriously, he needed it. Walking around butt-ass naked from shower to basement every morning/evening to find clothes after bathing was just unacceptable. Sometimes gifts are more than just “wants”. I saw a cute concept online a few years back for kids that goes something like: Something You Want, Something You Need, Something To Wear, Something To Read. (I thought that was super cute but unless he’s going to read the Redwings Logo on his hat I got him, I failed in one of the categories #Oops) Anyhow, I’m excited to gift him the rest of his things. . . . A Northface (welcome to the club PJ) – Something To Wear. Redwings Hat – Something To Read / AKA Another Want I Am Just A Failure. This Ghostbusters Shirt – Something He Wants. I did ok, although technically everything is something to wear. #I’mSoConfused. #AreYou? Anyhow, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! Can’t Wait To Grow Old Together – Literally! ♥ 

Happy Birthday PJ

To close this Friday. . . I just want to spend a quick second being that annoying mother. I got to spend the day with Paige yesterday (I work remote on Thursdays) and we had a perfect day. Ya know those days where you just couldn’t be happier being a mommy? Gah. I love them. We had 2 doctor appointments (one for her,one for me) then we went and got The Hefty Hannah (6 cupcakes- you should really watch Pretty Little Liars #Obsessed) from Red Velvet Cake Shop because I fucking love cupcakes for PJ and I’s birthdays, grabbed some McDonalds on our way home because that’s her one treat every 6 months after a check up – and shots :(, watched Lilo & Stitch 3 times, bath time, homemade meatloaf and ended the evening with a Parents Night at her Montessori. I was SUCH a proud mommy. I really adore her school and how much she loves it. She’s only there 2 days a week and it’s seriously amazing how much she’s taken in in just 6 months already. 

Ok I’m done. I swear. I just wanted to share my fun filled day with you all. OH and to top off the day, I got mis-rang at the CVS. . .  I tried to explain to the attendant but she just was NOT getting it. FREE TAMPONS!!!

Happy Early Birthday To ME!

The Best Present A Girl Could Ask For. Happy Friday Bitches!! 

Cheers!

♥ – C