That Time I Gave Up On My Blog. *

Posted in Mimosas & Mommyhood by Twine With A Twist

So it’s Wednesday at 11:00 pm at night and I’m just now ~~sitting down~~ forcing myself to post. I guess there is no better way to kick off a weekly confession then by confessing I don’t have any idea why I’m writing today to begin with. Feel free to press the tiny X in the corner of your screen at any point. . . . I’m clearly not worthy of a decent audience these past few weeks. But seriously, it’s been one hell of a month. I can’t even begin to explain my lack of motivation.

Between getting my life together and listening to my own thoughts, I’ve pretty much just given up completely. It’s not just blogging, it’s a mixture of everything. I’m going through a lot of personal changes at this exact moment and the time off between positions isn’t doing me any favors. The more time I have, the more I think. The more I think . . . well, I just take a nap. I’m in that state of being where you have just SO much to do, so much to figure out that “Hey lets just sleep it off” sounds so much more appealing. Between my own self-seeking and my friends and family chiming in. . . I’ve pretty much just been eating Cheetos, taking bike rides and finding things to keep my own thoughts at bay. . . so far it’s going phenomenal. (Insert Sarcasm Here).

But seriously, I have so many things to think about. I’m in a really tough spot between starting a job that could mean entirely too much responsibility to happily balance my personal life, personal business and personal serenity. . . while also making a hefty/happy contribution to our finances and utilizing my education (that I’m still paying off mind you) – OR – diving head-first into my own personal ambitions and leaving all expectations behind in a journey of spending more time with my family and doing something that makes me incredibly happy, all while having no promised source of consistent income which could in turn cause its own collection of chaotic nightmares.

One one end; I’m a crazy, motivated, Type A personality that needs to have that pressing career which requires long hours, travel and personal sacrifice. To me, that’s a REAL career woman. I’ve obsessed over it my entire life. On the other hand, I’m creative, passionate and WAY too independent to be working in a structured corporate environment and want the ability to test my own personal possibilities. I want the best of both worlds. My husband wants the security of a traditional career. I used to feel that way too. ALL the time. Then, I became a mother. Once this happened, things changed. I wanted more than just going to work for someone else. I transitioned my thoughts to a more independent, happy and hopeful existence. BUT, I also want to be a reliable member of my family, contribute to a healthy savings, pay down debt and possibly take my child to Disney World one day . . . .if I take this leap, I’m risking all that money can bring. . . but does that really include happiness? I think not. Or maybe? I seriously just don’t even know. I do love Disney though . . .

With that being said, this is where I’m at. . . . .^^^^^^^^^^ (I Love Me Some Stitch GIFs).

In my own thoughts.

Also, while I’m thinking out loud, I’m incredibly guilt stricken with my lack in blogging these past few weeks. I have to think that this is no better place to share my struggles, yet I’m again on the couch eating Cheerios (we ran out of Cheetos – BOO!) posting just before midnight, alone. I seriously just need a little structure in my insanity and I hope to get back into a consistent pattern. I’m really not ready to give up on this self-created space. I love it and I feel like it’s just the beginning! But really, what would you ladies do? I could REALLY use some advice on the subject. . .

With that, lets sign off by sending you over to Kathy’s amazing link-up: Humpday Confessions over at Vodka & Soda for some fun and feisty posting!

Happy Hump Day (Night)!!

Cheers,

14May2014

HELP ME!!!! -Hump Day *

Posted in Uncategorized by Twine With A Twist

So it’s been a weird 24 hours, not to mention past few weeks. Regardless, I need to get back to confessions. Like a whore out of church (it’s a metaphor people!!!), I’ve found my way back to the light and am ready to get a few things off my chest. . . .

1. I recently found myself in between jobs. I’m starting a new position in the next few weeks but in the mean time, I’m trying to perfect my skills as a house wife. It’s not going well:

Laundry. It’s just not my thing. As I mentioned before, I will wash it all day but once that’s complete. . . .well you get the point. #FoldingIsForFools. While I have stepped up my game in other areas, my husband has publicly declared I’m not fit to be a Stepford. #CryingInside.

2. I woke up on the couch last night to an alarming and confusing update from my WordPress account:

What the hell is going on? I confess, while I was seriously confused I was incredibly excited. . . . Oh, and it got better too:

My graphs were totally out of control! It happened in a matter of hours. THEN it hit me, for the first time ever, I pushed a post to reddit. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for traffic, but I was slightly saddened when I realized that I hadn’t actually received any new comments. #ImSoPetty. Not that my shit’s all that interesting, but hey, a girl could use some love over here- or just a new friend. While it’s been a slow start to this enjoyable journey into blogging, this is just proof that I continue to learn something new every day. AKA – Amaze Myself. I think I’ll continue this accidental test run with reddit, it’s definitely helping to drive new readers?? #RedditForLifeBitches.

3. I decided to start P.T. Boot Camp 2014 at the Jazz Castle today. . . for those of you that don’t know, the Jazz Castle is my house. My husband has this awkward infatuation with referring to himself as “Pjazz” It’s short (long) for PJ. His real name’s Patrick. Please don’t make me explain. Regardless, this is the Jazz Castle. It’s our home. It has its own Facebook Page. . . .#ThisShouldBeItsOwnConfession. #SoEmbarrassing. #CantKeepThatShitUpdated. #PleaseLikeUs. For the definition of P.T. Boot Camp, please see below:

Anyhow, my daughter will be 3 in July- Since I am in between jobs, I thought it no better time to prove my worth (since I’m clearly not doing it via housework) by potty training our baby. WHAT THE HELL. After a trip to Meijer: 10 pairs of Doc McStuffins/Hello Kitty panties, 50 feet of painters tarp and an industrial size bag of wipes later. . . . here we are. Complete and total insanity.

Seriously. I don’t even know where to begin. #YesShesStraddlingTheToilet. #ToiletPaperEverywhere. Aside from the 10 apple juices I’ve willingly provided, I’ve only landed myself: one successful pee, one accidental pee (on the hardwood #ThankGod) and the dog puking up grass. #WhatTheFuck.

I confess, I have NO idea what I’m doing. . . but I do know I would make one hell of an efficient painter. . . I prepped this place in a matter of seconds.

With that, I’m saving myself for Sunday service #Right. Until next week ladies, confess on!

Make sure you stop on over to confess your own horrible, no-good-sins with Kathy and her weekly link-up Humpday Confessions!

Or, if you have no regrets #WhoAreYouKidding?, visit the lovely Liz from Fitness Blondie and link-up any post on The Hump Day Blog Hop each Wednesday!

Also, have any of you potty trained? What useful advice can you offer a completely hopeless mother of one? #ILoveYouInAdvance!

Cheers,

13May2014

Cats Rule & Dogs Drool {#SMS: Link-Up #5}

Posted in #WifeLife by Twine With A Twist

As some of you may know, I’m a die-hard dog person. (Sorry if I just lost all my crazy cat lady followers – you will be missed #probablynot). But honestly, cats have never really been my “thing” and while this post’s title may confuse the masses, it’s more in direct correlation to the wonderfulness that is today’s link-up: Sh*t Men Say with Voyage of the MeeMee and Duh Danae!

A classic story of Male Vs. Female, Homeward Bound was never truly about the Cat vs. Dog scenario (although I’m sure you thought so when you were 5). It’s underlying tones were much to that of the traditional punch lines associated with this link-up and can correlate directly in conjunction with men being stupid, stupid creatures. . . . no matter what species we’re referring to. Now trust me when I say that I know for a fact today’s post was supposed to include things that I say, not my husband. . . but if you’ve been keeping any kind of tabs on my blog then you’ll know these past few weeks have been a complete embarrassment. AKA – I’m lazy. While I did in fact have every intention of letting him air his dirty laundry, I just straight up forgot. In hopes to make up for my absent-minded actions to date, I’ll indulge you all with our One Year Anniversary recap (see at bottom) to bore the living hell out of you, and then hopefully you’ll forget all about my irresponsible behavior. . . . With that being said, here are a few of the hilarious yet brutally funny things that my husband has muttered in the past 4 weeks:

Ok, so cereal? It’s not even up for debate any more. . . .it just is. I used to think he was insane but I now too indulge in cereal at all times of day. My only concern is when he repeatedly forgoes dinner for a bowl of Corn Pops. #NotOk. #ISlavedOverAHotStove. #NoIDidntImLying. The Lucky Charms post made my life. I wasn’t home to witness her initial process but I’m pretty sure it went like it does for all of us. . . . it’s only a matter of seconds before any living, breathing human realizes that the mallows are clearly superior. #ConfidentShesTheNextSteveJobs. The Raptor throwing the first pitch? Absolutely amazing. A clear representation of why I love the internet. #AndMyHusband. The Wire? I don’t even know. For the past 2 weeks I’ve been getting a lot of backlash regarding my lack in effort to catch up on his new-found obsession. . . . He started the Netflix binge last weekend, I’ll forever be behind. Plus, does anyone even know if this show’s any good? I don’t want to waste my time. #ImImportant. The last guy. . . . well I don’t even know. Pj’s vine account is priceless and this random man getting so God damn passionate to the National Anthem just makes my day. It clearly made his too.

So in conclusion, men are still hilariously dumb and with that being established you can now head over to the link-up and get in on the action. This only happens once a month ladies, don’t be late! #ThatsWhatSheSaid. #GrossJoke #IHopeImNotLate.

Anyhow, on to the promised boredom that is our anniversary and maybe a little Mother’s Day recap too! Bus seriously, it was fantastic. While we didn’t do anything crazy expensive, or even all that extraordinary to celebrate our first year as a married couple, we did make the most of our time together. . . and that’s all that matters right?

So first, let me explain: Our anniversary was on the 11th, but so was Mother’s Day. Me, being the stingy bitch that I am proposed we celebrate our anniversary “one day early” in order to avoid any confusion in the gift giving process – I was to have two SEPARATE gifts – clearly stated in our invisible wedding anniversary may sometimes overlap with mother’s day agreement. Duh. You can’t combine mom and wife gifts. . . even though clearly my 2-year-old wasn’t shopping for my new Cricut alone. Regardless, it was just easier. Plus, we had like ten thousand other people to worry about on Mother’s day (our Moms of course, each apparently = the value of 5,000 humans – #ILoveToExaggerate) and I didn’t want to share a day about us with a day about them, or ME. Days about me are limited in number.

So back to the Anniversary: We exchanged gifts in bed. . . .nothing better than waking up to a sun-filled comforter covered in personal presents! As we are incredibly impatient in this house when it comes to gifting, we had to get this out-of-the-way immediately. It’s amazing we even made it to the day before. . .

I got: A Tiffany & Co. titanium ring to match the hubby’s wedding band. It was an extremely cute and creative idea on his part and I couldn’t have been happier. It’s so cute!

He got: An Armani Exchange Watch & A Boudoir Photo Shoot Book or “Little Black Book” as I would coin it. . . . I don’t want to give away all the surprises (it’s for his eyes only!) but below is just one of the many images taken last year on our wedding day!

Next, we got to golf! It was my first time out all season and with my new Pink Cobra Driver no less! We just grabbed a quick 18 at our local least favorite course, but hey, it was open, affordable and easy access to the sitters. . . plus we got out on an amazing afternoon and it was a blast! He said we tied, I think I won. #NotEntirelySure.

Lastly, we hit up our local P.F. Changs and finally used a gift card given to us over 2 years ago at our Engagement Party. . . . we are total slackers. Seriously, I can’t believe it took us this long to have a date night but hey, sometimes it’s just not possible. We totally got down on the superb lettuce wraps, cali rolls and some Thai dishes for dinner. . . .desert was a honey inspired fruit smoothie. #ICouldDie. Afterwards we decided to see Neighbors. It was better than we had anticipated and the amount of times that Zac Efron went shirtless were both incredible and just outright absurd. Happy Pre-Mommy’s Day To Me! I wonder if Pj picked this movie on purpose . . . how thoughtful of him. #WifeLife. Regardless, it was the perfect film for two noob parents that like to party. . . . basically: best day ever, and we totally deserved an entire day to ourselves. It’s probably been an entire year since it’s happened!

So incredibly lucky to have this amazing man in my life. While I may spend a quick half-minute bashing his manliness every month, I do truly adore my amazing Pj. ♥

Finally was Mother’s Day: I won’t spend a ton of time on this as I’m sure any of you that have a mother (all of you) know how this works. I will say though that my daughter is the cutest thing on earth. . . .and incredibly talented at making breakfast in bed- and doing the dishes to boot! #Winning.

*Recap: Breakfast in bed, Paige doing the dishes (we made cupcakes together), a new Cricut, working from the patio, prepping flowers for our moms, nap time with ZaZa, visiting some of the grandmas, sidewalk chalk and fun family photos! #SoBlessed.

I hope you all enjoyed your wonderful weekend as well and please, get on over to the link-up and join in on the fun that these girls have created!! Also, if you have time, stop on by the Let’s Be Friends Blog Hop With The Dwelling Tree to meet some exciting and fun new people. . . I’ve been joining for the last month or so, it’s a great group of people!

Cheers,

9May2014

My Favorite Ways In Which To Avoid Responsibility *

Posted in Mimosas & Mommyhood by Twine With A Twist

Wahooo! I’m back bitches!! While it’s been a hot minute since I’ve blogged (2 weeks – seriously, don’t judge me), I’m back and ready for some good ol’ Friday Favorites. You see, it’s not that I’m completely lazy, but sometimes life gets in the way. I would love to sit here and make excuses but the reality of it is, I was just NOT around. I took a hiatus and I’m not all that ashamed. Sometimes it pays to be irresponsible.#LazyAsF. In light of this, I would like to break down a few of my favorite ways in which I completely avoid responsibility:

1. Laundry: I just don’t do it. Well that’s a lie, I wash it. . . . I just don’t believe in folding and/or putting that shit away. While it’s incredibly liberating to come home to a closet full of freshly hung clothes, I wouldn’t know the first thing about accomplishing it. Ever since moving into my husband’s home 4 years ago, the lack of closet space has led to a life of laundromatic chaos. Typically takes about 22+ loads of laundry to finally break me. I then spend 6+ hours folding on a Netflix binge. #NoShame.

2. Email: I just don’t read them. You see, I sign up for everything under the sun and I became horrible at deleting emails (read or unread) roughly 5 years ago. To date I have like 65k + unopened emails in my inbox. In spite of this personal flaw, I managed to use my marriage last spring as an excuse to create a “new email” in which I only use for professional and personal use. In turn, leading to even LESS opened emails on the other account. It’s a vicious cycle that I don’t have a solution to. If anyone hears of an invention that just cleans house on old emails, let me know. On second though, maybe I should patent that shit. . .

3. Emptying The Dishwasher: This is somewhat of a game at our house, a standoff if you will. Both my husband and myself absolutely HATE unloading the dishwasher, but loading is something we can agree on? Regardless, I’ll let the dishes pile up to the ceiling before finally caving. I rather just slowly unload as needed much like the loading process, too bad that could take weeks. #ImSuchABum.

4. Voicemail: I can’t stand this invention. A) I don’t listen to them. Ever. Especially from my mother. (Sorry Mom I love you, but seriously. . . . you don’t have to leave me a message that goes something like: “Hey sweetie, it’s Mom. Call me back.” – Trust me, I know you called. It’s called “missed call”. It was invented in like 2001. Actually, I have no idea when it was invented, I just Googled it and I came up empty-handed. . . .but regardless it’s been around for OVER a decade. B) I never delete them (see dating back to September of last year . . . .I had to scroll down for some time) because that would involve being responsible and possibly even organized. #IShutter C). I clearly don’t ever store numbers either. . . hence blacking out all the numbers, because they are in fact, numbers, not names. I don’t even know who they are. I would have just left them for you all to call but I had my own reservations. . . .unless you of course plan on asking them if their refrigerator is running, then by all means.

5. The Lint Trap: I realize this could be categorized with the above mentioned “Laundry” but let’s be serious, my lack of folding can’t contribute to a house fire. But for real, I could/should have burnt the basement down 10 times by now. I can’t even. . . . #SorryHusband.

6. Getting Off The Couch: When I’m down, I’m down. I don’t often sit but when I do. . . . it’s all bets off. I cannot be convinced to again rise unless chocolate covered strawberries are somehow involved. Dog needs water? #DontCare. Paige wants goldfish? #Pj!?! iPhone’s across the room? #GuessYouBetterLeaveAVoiceMail. #YeahRight.

7. Mani-Pedis: I will wait 5+ weeks before getting a fill. . .or until I break a nail and just can’t handle the incredible thought process/effort that goes into attempting to hide said nail under every varied circumstance. (Yes, I get embarrassed about that sort of petty crap). It’s not that I don’t want to take care of myself, it’s just that I don’t care. Not to mention I have way more important things to do besides sit in a chair for 2+ hours, even if that chair does have a massage feature.

8. Weeding The Garden: While it’s a little early in the season to be calling myself out on this, I thought it only right to look ahead to my seasonal irresponsibility. #CallMeAnOverachiever. Now I have yet to even plant this years flowers/veggies/herbs. . . .but don’t let that fool you: I have no intention on weeding these works of art. No joke, I will spend 3+ days perfecting each bed and pot, OCD’ing the hell out on every layout, color, spacing and more only to let them go to hell in 3 weeks. Weeding is for suckers. Not to mention I practically kill every plant I’ve ever owned. . . I just can’t deal.

Oh man, a Weeds GIF for a weeding resentment. . . .I crack myself up. #ImAmazing.

This blog you ask? Well yes, It’s been a little over 2+ weeks since I’ve tended to it, but I’m not even about to make excuses for that. I will, however, vow to never make a unestablished exit again. I missed you ladies too much. Oh and while we’re on the topic: 843 unread blogs on Bloglovin. . . It’s not that I won’t attempt to read them all, but in all honesty it’s just not gonna happen. Irresponsibility just kicked in and told me it’s “ok” to consider this a clean slate. Starting anew effective today. #DontJudgeMe.

Oh and while you’re at it, go check out the much more established, organized and clearly more responsible Amanda at Meet @ The Barre! Link up and love yourself some Friday Favorites! ❤

Cheers!

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