HELP ME!!!! -Hump Day *

So it’s been a weird 24 hours, not to mention past few weeks. Regardless, I need to get back to confessions. Like a whore out of church (it’s a metaphor people!!!), I’ve found my way back to the light and am ready to get a few things off my chest. . . .

1. I recently found myself in between jobs. I’m starting a new position in the next few weeks but in the mean time, I’m trying to perfect my skills as a house wife. It’s not going well:

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Laundry. It’s just not my thing. As I mentioned before, I will wash it all day but once that’s complete. . . .well you get the point. #FoldingIsForFools. While I have stepped up my game in other areas, my husband has publicly declared I’m not fit to be a Stepford. #CryingInside.

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2. I woke up on the couch last night to an alarming and confusing update from my WordPress account:

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What the hell is going on? I confess, while I was seriously confused I was incredibly excited. . . . Oh, and it got better too:

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My graphs were totally out of control! It happened in a matter of hours. THEN it hit me, for the first time ever, I pushed a post to reddit. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for traffic, but I was slightly saddened when I realized that I hadn’t actually received any new comments. #ImSoPetty. Not that my shit’s all that interesting, but hey, a girl could use some love over here- or just a new friend. While it’s been a slow start to this enjoyable journey into blogging, this is just proof that I continue to learn something new every day. AKA – Amaze Myself. I think I’ll continue this accidental test run with reddit, it’s definitely helping to drive new readers?? #RedditForLifeBitches.

3. I decided to start P.T. Boot Camp 2014 at the Jazz Castle today. . . for those of you that don’t know, the Jazz Castle is my house. My husband has this awkward infatuation with referring to himself as “Pjazz” It’s short (long) for PJ. His real name’s Patrick. Please don’t make me explain. Regardless, this is the Jazz Castle. It’s our home. It has its own Facebook Page. . . .#ThisShouldBeItsOwnConfession. #SoEmbarrassing. #CantKeepThatShitUpdated. #PleaseLikeUs. For the definition of P.T. Boot Camp, please see below:

Anyhow, my daughter will be 3 in July- Since I am in between jobs, I thought it no better time to prove my worth (since I’m clearly not doing it via housework) by potty training our baby. WHAT THE HELL. After a trip to Meijer: 10 pairs of Doc McStuffins/Hello Kitty panties, 50 feet of painters tarp and an industrial size bag of wipes later. . . . here we are. Complete and total insanity.

Seriously. I don’t even know where to begin. #YesShesStraddlingTheToilet. #ToiletPaperEverywhere. Aside from the 10 apple juices I’ve willingly provided, I’ve only landed myself: one successful pee, one accidental pee (on the hardwood #ThankGod) and the dog puking up grass. #WhatTheFuck.

I confess, I have NO idea what I’m doing. . . but I do know I would make one hell of an efficient painter. . . I prepped this place in a matter of seconds.

With that, I’m saving myself for Sunday service #Right. Until next week ladies, confess on!

Make sure you stop on over to confess your own horrible, no-good-sins with Kathy and her weekly link-up Humpday Confessions!

 

Or, if you have no regrets #WhoAreYouKidding?, visit the lovely Liz from Fitness Blondie and link-up any post on The Hump Day Blog Hop each Wednesday! 

 

Also, have any of you potty trained? What useful advice can you offer a completely hopeless mother of one? #ILoveYouInAdvance!

Cheers,

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11 thoughts on “HELP ME!!!! -Hump Day *

  1. I had a similar experience with my graphs after submitting an entry to Apartment Therapy. My graphs looked JUST like yours and spiked like crazy when they posted my link. Sadly, I also didn’t receive any new comments or follows on my blog. So frustrating! I guess we should just be happy for the exposure and keep posting in the hopes that it will drive in some new followers eventually! Keep at it! 🙂

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    • I guess I can relate though, I mean I have no idea how many blogs and posts I read daily from links on social media that I never end up following the blogger or commenting, I just read it and move on. I will still be keeping up though, has too help?

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    • Yeah I’m not going to lie, if it wasn’t for the little stats bar at the top of my site every day I probably wouldn’t ever look either. . . I was honestly in shock when I got a notification on my phone telling me it was booming, lol if not for that I probably would have never known either!!

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  2. Laundry is my least favorite chore! I’m the worst at it. I don’t even take it out of the dryer. I forget it’s there until it’s two days later and everything is terrible lmao.

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  3. Amazing jump in visitors from Reddit. Wow! Too bad no new comments though. Bummer. The Jazz Castle name for your house is kinda awesome. You look uber prepared for potty training. You weren’t kidding about the tarp. We potty trained our 3-yr old boy over the weekend. We told him that he’s too big for diapers, put him in underwear, he wet himself 2x while playing, and hasn’t had an accident since (except when he couldn’t push his pants down in time). I think when kids get it, they just get it. The first 2 days, I had to take him to the potty every 10-15 min. But after a while, he can hold it about as long as we (parents) can. Even on long car trips. Whatever technique you want to do, stick with it. If it becomes to frustrating with her, stop, and start again in a few weeks.

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    • Super happy to report that day two was a success compared to day one! Only one accident and we’re already done with the tarps! She’s also had a hard time getting her panties down in time but the every 10-15 turned into every 5. . . she was working the system for extra jelly beans in no time. Thanks for the advice though, the every 10-15 minutes tip definitely helped! 🙂

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  4. Laundry is the worst. I don’t mind washing, drying, and taking the clothes out of the dryer.. but folding, yuck. I wish there was an automatic folding machine! As for the potty training, I just got really lucky with my son. I would ask him every 5-10 minutes if he had to go potty and when he would finally go in the toilet we would make a pretty big deal about it and make it exciting. Your confessions are hilarious!

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    • Kenzie,

      We should probably patent the idea of a folding machine. I don’t have any concept of design but we can work out the details later. . . . Potty training is now on day 5 and it actually went WAY easier than I imagined. She only had one bad day (yesterday) and I’m assuming it’s because we had a house warming party where she wasn’t familiar. . . other then that all our outings went great!! 🙂

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