Wahooo! I’m back bitches!! While it’s been a hot minute since I’ve blogged (2 weeks – seriously, don’t judge me), I’m back and ready for some good ol’ Friday Favorites. You see, it’s not that I’m completely lazy, but sometimes life gets in the way. I would love to sit here and make excuses but the reality of it is, I was just NOT around. I took a hiatus and I’m not all that ashamed. Sometimes it pays to be irresponsible.#LazyAsF. In light of this, I would like to break down a few of my favorite ways in which I completely avoid responsibility:
1. Laundry: I just don’t do it. Well that’s a lie, I wash it. . . . I just don’t believe in folding and/or putting that shit away. While it’s incredibly liberating to come home to a closet full of freshly hung clothes, I wouldn’t know the first thing about accomplishing it. Ever since moving into my husband’s home 4 years ago, the lack of closet space has led to a life of laundromatic chaos. Typically takes about 22+ loads of laundry to finally break me. I then spend 6+ hours folding on a Netflix binge. #NoShame.
2. Email: I just don’t read them. You see, I sign up for everything under the sun and I became horrible at deleting emails (read or unread) roughly 5 years ago. To date I have like 65k + unopened emails in my inbox. In spite of this personal flaw, I managed to use my marriage last spring as an excuse to create a “new email” in which I only use for professional and personal use. In turn, leading to even LESS opened emails on the other account. It’s a vicious cycle that I don’t have a solution to. If anyone hears of an invention that just cleans house on old emails, let me know. On second though, maybe I should patent that shit. . .
3. Emptying The Dishwasher: This is somewhat of a game at our house, a standoff if you will. Both my husband and myself absolutely HATE unloading the dishwasher, but loading is something we can agree on? Regardless, I’ll let the dishes pile up to the ceiling before finally caving. I rather just slowly unload as needed much like the loading process, too bad that could take weeks. #ImSuchABum.
4. Voicemail: I can’t stand this invention. A) I don’t listen to them. Ever. Especially from my mother. (Sorry Mom I love you, but seriously. . . . you don’t have to leave me a message that goes something like: “Hey sweetie, it’s Mom. Call me back.” – Trust me, I know you called. It’s called “missed call”. It was invented in like 2001. Actually, I have no idea when it was invented, I just Googled it and I came up empty-handed. . . .but regardless it’s been around for OVER a decade. B) I never delete them (see dating back to September of last year . . . .I had to scroll down for some time) because that would involve being responsible and possibly even organized. #IShutter C). I clearly don’t ever store numbers either. . . hence blacking out all the numbers, because they are in fact, numbers, not names. I don’t even know who they are. I would have just left them for you all to call but I had my own reservations. . . .unless you of course plan on asking them if their refrigerator is running, then by all means.
5. The Lint Trap: I realize this could be categorized with the above mentioned “Laundry” but let’s be serious, my lack of folding can’t contribute to a house fire. But for real, I could/should have burnt the basement down 10 times by now. I can’t even. . . . #SorryHusband.
6. Getting Off The Couch: When I’m down, I’m down. I don’t often sit but when I do. . . . it’s all bets off. I cannot be convinced to again rise unless chocolate covered strawberries are somehow involved. Dog needs water? #DontCare. Paige wants goldfish? #Pj!?! iPhone’s across the room? #GuessYouBetterLeaveAVoiceMail. #YeahRight.
7. Mani-Pedis: I will wait 5+ weeks before getting a fill. . .or until I break a nail and just can’t handle the incredible thought process/effort that goes into attempting to hide said nail under every varied circumstance. (Yes, I get embarrassed about that sort of petty crap). It’s not that I don’t want to take care of myself, it’s just that I don’t care. Not to mention I have way more important things to do besides sit in a chair for 2+ hours, even if that chair does have a massage feature.
8. Weeding The Garden: While it’s a little early in the season to be calling myself out on this, I thought it only right to look ahead to my seasonal irresponsibility. #CallMeAnOverachiever. Now I have yet to even plant this years flowers/veggies/herbs. . . .but don’t let that fool you: I have no intention on weeding these works of art. No joke, I will spend 3+ days perfecting each bed and pot, OCD’ing the hell out on every layout, color, spacing and more only to let them go to hell in 3 weeks. Weeding is for suckers. Not to mention I practically kill every plant I’ve ever owned. . . I just can’t deal.
Oh man, a Weeds GIF for a weeding resentment. . . .I crack myself up. #ImAmazing.
This blog you ask? Well yes, It’s been a little over 2+ weeks since I’ve tended to it, but I’m not even about to make excuses for that. I will, however, vow to never make a unestablished exit again. I missed you ladies too much. Oh and while we’re on the topic: 843 unread blogs on Bloglovin. . . It’s not that I won’t attempt to read them all, but in all honesty it’s just not gonna happen. Irresponsibility just kicked in and told me it’s “ok” to consider this a clean slate. Starting anew effective today. #DontJudgeMe.
Oh and while you’re at it, go check out the much more established, organized and clearly more responsible Amanda at Meet @ The Barre! Link up and love yourself some Friday Favorites! ❤