As I sit here on this delicate Monday morning, I can humbly reflect on another weekend passed. While I type this half asleep, I’m comforted to know that my morning tea is only moments away. 3 sugars, light cream. Becky knows me all too well after only 3 short weeks.
The sun is glaring brightly on my face, my monitor is an impossible gloss of tiny fingerprints. I really need to consider switching booths on such bright and cheerful mornings. . . I can’t see a damn thing as I’m typing. But I love this booth, this is my booth. It’s secluded. Personal. I can see the entire city from this dumpy little coney. I wont move so I squint to see a little more.
As of late, I’ve been lucky enough to accept each sunrise. Every single morning.While I dreaded this transition for many months, it’s in turn proven to be incredibly essential in keeping myself in tune. A forgotten piece of inspiration in my day that I’m all too thankful to have back.
The past 5 months have been exhausting. While I am in no way ready to share the experiences I’ve encountered, dealt with and still overcoming; I would like to point out that because of this self inflicted process I’ve become a better person.
“Everything Happens For A Reason.”
That’s what I’ve been told. But does it? Is there a reason for everything and everything for a reason? While I search for some personal gratification on this mild and well-mannered morning I struggle to find a solution.
But maybe that’s the problem. Maybe searching for all the answers is what brings us back to beginning. The problem. Perhaps the answer is in not knowing. In that I can find some honesty.
You see, turning your will over is no easy habit. It’s an un-perfected process that goes hand-in-hand with loss of control and lack of acceptance. Lets be serious for a second: Who in the hell wants that? Truthfully? I do. You do. We all do. The incredible humbleness that comes from letting go is something that I can’t completely describe, yet I hope to fully share. It’s a level of peace that I had never before experienced until I learned to let go absolutely.
While I’m in no way a person of extreme faith, I have always possessed the knowledge that in all my efforts I can never guarantee results. This is something that has helped me accept the life I live today. While I may not always be where I want to be, I’m where I’m supposed to be. This is happiness.
I once read that God comes along and wrecks your plans when your plans are about to wreck you. While I would have balked at such a phrase years ago, I can today appreciated the honesty and reality in these unbreakable words. Maybe things happen for a reason. Maybe you come to understand that reason, maybe you don’t. It’s faith in letting go that makes acceptance possible because sometimes, just sometimes, it’s the wrong choices that bring us to the right places.
We don’t have all the answers . . . just today. And today, I’m eating my eggs sunny side up with a side of hope. How about you?
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