For The Lack Of A Better Title – Confessions. *

It’s been a long week my friends. I say that in a good way. . . but truthfully, I’m exhausted. So anyhow, lets get in on the fun that is every Wednesday and jump right off the confession high dive!

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I watched Orange is the New Black – Season Two  release in less than 24 hours. I felt seriously guilty until I realized that half the First World had done the same. I actually fell short of a few people, and they have full time jobs. WHAT?? Major slacking on my part. Anyhow, it was GREAT. I wish I could make these shows last longer, but I’m a binger. I can’t help myself. Line them up, knock them down. #sorryNOTsorry. For now, I’ll pretty much be recovering as such until next June. . . .

I rolled right out of one addiction and into another. I woke up this morning and started season 4 of Pretty Little Liars. Since I didn’t start obsessing over this dramatic nonsense until last fall, I was forced to wait out season 4 for Netflix. Of course season 5 started last night but that’s what DVR is for. #Duh. I figured I would start by first watching the season finale of season 3 to refresh my memory. . . only to watch the first episode of season 4 that was a total recap. So annoying. I would have been totally pissed if I was actually a devoted fan of this crap and had waited between seasons for a “brand new episode” that just told me everything I already know. If the first episode of season 5 is anything like this, please let me know now. I will just delete it off my DVR now. . . I need room for other non-important shows. Ok but really, enough TV. I need to get a life.

I have a bachelorette party this weekend that I can’t wait for! I confess: these events are my jam. I can’t get enough of a big girls night out and bus loads of dramatic bitching. It’s a blessing to call this a “night out”. Really it is! Did I mention I won’t be drinking? SMFH. Never mind, kill me now. No but seriously, it should be fun. I just need to figure out if I’m going to give up on my “eyebrow strike” or not. . . . these little caterpillars are getting frisky. I also have no idea how to dress sexy. I mean I try my best, but I never get to the comfort level. I’m either Vegas or Baby Shower. . . . god help us  that I’m not both on Saturday. I’m thinking this GIF would make deciding my attire that much easier. . .

I can’t stop eating cookies. Like 3 sleeves of Oreos and at least a dozen quick mix sugar cookies (with frosting). I made cookies for my daughter’s lemonade stand this past weekend and had to “get rid of them”. . . AKA eat the remaining cookies in under 2 days. . . Now I can’t stop. I want more. #Help.

I’m currently playing housewife and recently realized I was better at meal planning when I was in the office 5 days a week then when I’m sitting my ass 10 feet away from our stove, ALL DAY. It’s a mix between “I don’t care” and “it’s too late to defrost this – lets order pizza”. I actually like cooking too, it’s just I can feel the laziness taking over my routine. I’m giving up. On the bright side, today I picked up a french baguette to grill with dinner. . . I just don’t know what “dinner” that would be. Did I mention it’s already 5pm? #BreadWithASideOfBread. #HopeYouLikeIt. #ILoveBread.

My daughter is really starting to test me. After a handful of tantrums, tempers and tossing shit about, I’m pretty sure my husband is losing his mind with the both of us. You can only argue with a 2 year old so many times until you start to sound like one yourself. #Me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t come home from work today . . . or worse: If he did.

I can still use my toilet without removing my daughter’s training seat. I have the ass of an eight year old boy and I’m not even upset about it. On the other hand, Paige gets VERY upset about it.

I am being featured as a guest blogger tomorrow with Chelsee over at Southern Beauty Guide. . . I  had no idea how to send this post. I seriously sent her like 9 emails, copy and pasted, html, millions of photo files. . . .I am pretty sure she will never ask me to guest blog for her again, thinks I’m crazy or both. #Noob. It’s a little DIY I did on our lemonade stand! I’m extremely excited but also nervous. I’ll have it up on the blog tomorrow so please leave me some love!!

So that about sums it up. . . a week full of confessions only to be followed by a recap full of GIFS. #ILoveThisDay. If you want to get in on the weekly tradition of Humpday Confessions with Kathy  at Vodka And Soda make sure to share the link below:

Or if you just want to meet new peeps and spread the good word, get in on The Hump Day Blog Hop With Liz over at Fitness Blondie!

 

 

Cheers,

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Why I Hate The News *

I don’t know about everyone else but this week has been a long one. With Sunday in the 70s and snow on Tuesday I just can’t really seem to get a handle on my life. Or the Weather. Or maybe my life. I don’t even know. . . . Anyhow: Confessions are long over-due (if that’s even possible in only a week’s time) and deviled eggs can’t come soon enough. #HelloSweetBabyJesusWeekend!

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So while I’ve been keeping a mental list of confessions in my head for the past 3 days, I couldn’t help but completely forget ALL of them upon waking up this morning. I don’t know if it was the lack of coffee or the absurd garbage that was strewn across my news feeds -but regardless- my thought process dwindled quickly. Not sure if it’s just here in Michigan or what, but this world is seriously getting more stupid by the second. I’m beginning to lose faith in all of humanity and would like to share just a few examples from today alone of why it is #IHateTheNews. . . .

1. This child. The people that wrote this story. And the people who considered it “newsworthy”. Selfies? This word should be omitted from all forms of broadcast anything. Never once was the word selfie included in any sentence, announcement or otherwise important tid-bit worthy of any public energy. While I must admit this kid got exactly what he was asking for ( I wish I could kick every human in the head at 45 MPH that thought a selfie was a decent way to include yourself in society), it’s still not something my local news station should be airing. Reddit? sure. Youtube, why not. Channel 4? Come the F on, you call yourself professionals. I expect that there is a lot more going on in my surrounding neighborhood then some dip shit with a smart phone and no depth perception.

Teen Trying To Take Selfie In Front Of Train Gets Kicked By Conductor

Teen was a ‘safe’ distance from train

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2. Oh wait, there isn’t anything better going on in my surrounding suburbs. Brought to you straight from Detroit, the most uneducated argument #Literally, that I have seen in the past decade when it comes to college admissions. The fact that our local Fox 2 reporters assumed that anyone holding a megaphone MUST be newsworthy is beyond insulting. Not only that, they run with the story and continue to let these uninformed individuals rant for the world to hear. Everyone in the next generation is now stupider (pun intended) for having listened to this.

Detroit Student Joins BAMN To Lead Protest Against U-M Admissions Office

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Did anyone think to look up the admissions process at the University of Michigan before running this garbage? How about the history behind the University’s admissions process. . . because I for one can remember the year that I was applying to colleges (we won’t say exactly when) that UofM had placed policies into effect in which diversity reigned supreme, and it still does. I mean it’s seriously listed publicly on their site for the world to see, I didn’t even have to dig. UofM is one of the most diverse universities in the state, and among the top in the country. Look it up.

Now you two half-wit children are pulling the race card? Listen, it’s well-known that if you don’t have a 3.85 or higher (more like a 4.0 – I know someone working in their admissions dept.) – which you didn’t- that UofM wont even look at you. Oh and by the way, your ACT scores were crap. I scored higher and I’m a complete idiot. I even scored better my second time around after an all night bender, preceding a home football game. #Truth. And sure, you were involved in some extra circulars but hey, so was I. Lots of them. I mean with parents today, who isn’t? I’m sure if the admissions process were based on this alone, I would have been accepted too. But I wasn’t, I didn’t dare apply. But please know that if I had (and obviously not gotten accepted), I wouldn’t have pulled the race card. . . and I don’t even get that bonus 20%!

Both of you women are clearly intelligent, well-rounded and persistent. I for one didn’t have a 3.65 or higher GPA in high school and I commend you for fighting the good fight. . . also known as not enjoying your youth. But in all seriousness, it would be a breath of fresh air to see you channel your talents in a more positive light moving forward. Yet here we are, watching our local news reward you with publicity on an uneducated complaint when you should be out changing the world. I’m all for supporting the Freedom of Speech or a good honest protest but this is why society is the way that it is. #IHateTheNews.

3. Why do I even try?

Prince William Told Kate She Looked Like a Banana

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No seriously, that’s the headline. Apparently Maggie Lange got her first shot at some white space over at New York Magazine and totally blew it. We really had nothing better to cover on this highly regarded couple that’s representing like, an entire country? #GuessNot. #IActuallyHaveNoIdeaWhatTheyDo. I’m guessing by Maggie’s archive that she’s probably not that well versed in needed “News”. This short story essentially is the biggest click waste in any one person’s lifetime, at least for me it was. #ProceedWithCaution.

So in conclusion, I would like to essentially confess that I am in no way ready to get home and turn on the 5 o’clock. With the way things are headed it’s difficult to imagine our planet surviving past 2020. While I can make no direct efforts to changing the way in which our country broadcasts intellectual information, I can at least make the decision to ignore it.

On that note, if it’s not being anchored by the Channel 4 News Team or the Atlantis Cable News Team. . . I don’t want anything to do with it. #IHateTheNews.

Have you ever had a day of just BAD news? What stories drive you crazy? Does anyone just LOVE The Newsroom Like I do, Maybe Anchor Man? #MyOnlyFormsOfNews. Please tell me I’m not alone out here.

If you have any last confessions before #SweetBabyJesusWeekend you best make sure to stop on over at Vodka And Soda for Kathy’s Weekly “Humpday Confessions” and link-up any post your heart desires with Liz From Fitness Blondie for her weekly Hump Day Blog Hop which I believe is being Co-Hosted By Kathy!

Cheers,

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