For The Lack Of A Better Title – Confessions. *

It’s been a long week my friends. I say that in a good way. . . but truthfully, I’m exhausted. So anyhow, lets get in on the fun that is every Wednesday and jump right off the confession high dive!

wendesday

I watched Orange is the New Black – Season Two  release in less than 24 hours. I felt seriously guilty until I realized that half the First World had done the same. I actually fell short of a few people, and they have full time jobs. WHAT?? Major slacking on my part. Anyhow, it was GREAT. I wish I could make these shows last longer, but I’m a binger. I can’t help myself. Line them up, knock them down. #sorryNOTsorry. For now, I’ll pretty much be recovering as such until next June. . . .

I rolled right out of one addiction and into another. I woke up this morning and started season 4 of Pretty Little Liars. Since I didn’t start obsessing over this dramatic nonsense until last fall, I was forced to wait out season 4 for Netflix. Of course season 5 started last night but that’s what DVR is for. #Duh. I figured I would start by first watching the season finale of season 3 to refresh my memory. . . only to watch the first episode of season 4 that was a total recap. So annoying. I would have been totally pissed if I was actually a devoted fan of this crap and had waited between seasons for a “brand new episode” that just told me everything I already know. If the first episode of season 5 is anything like this, please let me know now. I will just delete it off my DVR now. . . I need room for other non-important shows. Ok but really, enough TV. I need to get a life.

I have a bachelorette party this weekend that I can’t wait for! I confess: these events are my jam. I can’t get enough of a big girls night out and bus loads of dramatic bitching. It’s a blessing to call this a “night out”. Really it is! Did I mention I won’t be drinking? SMFH. Never mind, kill me now. No but seriously, it should be fun. I just need to figure out if I’m going to give up on my “eyebrow strike” or not. . . . these little caterpillars are getting frisky. I also have no idea how to dress sexy. I mean I try my best, but I never get to the comfort level. I’m either Vegas or Baby Shower. . . . god help us  that I’m not both on Saturday. I’m thinking this GIF would make deciding my attire that much easier. . .

I can’t stop eating cookies. Like 3 sleeves of Oreos and at least a dozen quick mix sugar cookies (with frosting). I made cookies for my daughter’s lemonade stand this past weekend and had to “get rid of them”. . . AKA eat the remaining cookies in under 2 days. . . Now I can’t stop. I want more. #Help.

I’m currently playing housewife and recently realized I was better at meal planning when I was in the office 5 days a week then when I’m sitting my ass 10 feet away from our stove, ALL DAY. It’s a mix between “I don’t care” and “it’s too late to defrost this – lets order pizza”. I actually like cooking too, it’s just I can feel the laziness taking over my routine. I’m giving up. On the bright side, today I picked up a french baguette to grill with dinner. . . I just don’t know what “dinner” that would be. Did I mention it’s already 5pm? #BreadWithASideOfBread. #HopeYouLikeIt. #ILoveBread.

My daughter is really starting to test me. After a handful of tantrums, tempers and tossing shit about, I’m pretty sure my husband is losing his mind with the both of us. You can only argue with a 2 year old so many times until you start to sound like one yourself. #Me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t come home from work today . . . or worse: If he did.

I can still use my toilet without removing my daughter’s training seat. I have the ass of an eight year old boy and I’m not even upset about it. On the other hand, Paige gets VERY upset about it.

I am being featured as a guest blogger tomorrow with Chelsee over at Southern Beauty Guide. . . I  had no idea how to send this post. I seriously sent her like 9 emails, copy and pasted, html, millions of photo files. . . .I am pretty sure she will never ask me to guest blog for her again, thinks I’m crazy or both. #Noob. It’s a little DIY I did on our lemonade stand! I’m extremely excited but also nervous. I’ll have it up on the blog tomorrow so please leave me some love!!

So that about sums it up. . . a week full of confessions only to be followed by a recap full of GIFS. #ILoveThisDay. If you want to get in on the weekly tradition of Humpday Confessions with Kathy  at Vodka And Soda make sure to share the link below:

Or if you just want to meet new peeps and spread the good word, get in on The Hump Day Blog Hop With Liz over at Fitness Blondie!

 

 

Cheers,

Screen Shot 2014-06-10 at 10.51.29 PM

 

Advertisements

What Day Is It?

Hello Hump Day! This day. Seriously. Ok, so I have to get right on my confessions this week. Literally, have been in need of confessions since basically the moment I stopped typing confessions to Kathy LAST Wednesday. . . anyhow. Here goes:

Confession #1: I can’t stop crying today. Like legit tears. I don’t ever cry (Reference to last weeks post about my dog dying- no tears) so that just tells you what kinda day it’s been. I’m at work mind you, *ps. this has nothing to do with work- I LOVE my coworkers and job!* so I keep creeping off to the bathroom like I have to pee my pants every 30 minutes. It’s pretty much awful, awkward and I just want to go home. And NO, I will not be sharing the dirty details today. . . Thank You. OH and Thank god for good friends and chocolate covered strawberries. My best girlies had these delivered to my office today because they knew I was down. . . . ♥ Them!

Screen Shot 2014-02-26 at 4.04.19 PM

Confession #2: I swear I talk about Chocolate Covered Strawberries like every other post, I’m sorry. Actually, I’m not but I will make a valiant effort to dial it down. Actually, no. That’s a lie too. This entire confession will more realistically result in my desire to bring up C.C.S-Berries all the more now.

Confession #3: I haven’t given Paige a bath in four days. Actually that’s another lie, she hasn’t had a bath in like six-seven days. She showered with me on Saturday night though. . . so that counts. Although mentioning to my husband that our 2 year old took a shower was sort of awkward. The whole event was awkward really. . . “Where’s Paige?” – “In The Shower.” Just say it out loud and look at this face:Screen Shot 2014-01-13 at 2.20.38 PM

Now: picture it in the shower. #DamnWeirdBaby. Regardless, I don’t feel that guilty as I’ve found lots of parents don’t bathe their nuggets every day. . . or even every other. Or every other,other. I mean personally, If I shit my pants once or twice a day I would want baths on the regular. Paige? Just doesn’t care. I mean sure she likes baths but she also likes 8,567 other things ALL at once, so her bath sometimes falls down the list.  . . . Oh forget it, I was being lazy. But seriously, I have a hard enough time squeezing in a shower for myself most days and now this? #MomProblems

Confession #4: After posting my previous confession I am now slightly nervous petrified that Child Protective Services will come knocking on my door because I neglected to bathe my OCD baby. Trust me- her 15 minute hand washing session 4-6 times a day more then make up for her lack of a luke-warm tub. . . .you would think she’s Howard Hughes in the Aviator.* #ISwearImAGoodMother.

*If you didn’t get the reference then I’m sorry. It’s funny. Just Google that shit already. Then laugh.

Confession #5: I must do YOGA tonight. I haven’t partaken in this relaxing ritual it almost two weeks. I was really getting into it for a while. I’m not one for many extra curricular activities- unless you count running up and down the stairs 9 times a night because I can’t seem to ever remember what I’m looking for in our basement storage room, like EVER– but Yoga’s different. I’ve needed something for ME this winter. Something to get out of my own head for 30 or so minutes. I golf and bike in the summer but this harsh winter has been hard on the soul and Yoga has helped. Plus I enjoy watching Paige attempt the poses. . . she’s actually getting pretty good. #NamasteBitches.

namaste .jpg

That’s a wrap! For all of you that don’t know: Wednesday is the perfect occasion to head on over to Kathy’s link-up at Vodka & Soda and take part in her “HumpDay Confessions“. A hilarious excuse to air your dirty laundry, her links are just what the doctor ordered for your mid-week blues!

Cheers,

Screen Shot 2014-02-14 at 4.35.08 PM

Fuck You Mondays . . . *

So I went off to bed last night not entirely sure what I would feel like posting today . . . until today started. 

monday you bastard

Oh My Lord. . . . I haven’t had a Monday this bad in years! To start, I’ve been visiting a chiropractor for an achy shoulder situation this past week and I wake up ten times last night in killer pain. . . . (clearly the Chiro is not helping). Roll out of bed to get my daughter ready for school and rush around per usual in a chaotic yet, completely insane manner. . . only to leave the house forgetting some password my husband needed me to text him . . . .

Turn around. Get Pissed. Swear in front of child. . . . apologize, sort of. Proceed to head back to school. Out of windshield wiper fluid. #OfCourse  Pull in parking lot, unbuckle Paige. . . . teacher comes strolling out to remind me “She doesn’t have school today”. #FML. Call my in-laws. Ask if they can watch her? Yes. Get back in car. Swear More. Don’t bother apologizing, too late for that now. Drive all the way across town. Drop Paige off. Angry Baby. Annoyed Mom. Back to work . . . .half hour late.

case of the mondays

Sit down at my computer and attempt to work. Remind myself to pay bills (what every human wants to do on a Monday – #Yesss). Pay ALL the wrong bills for this current pay cycle. Swear Profusely. Do NOT apologize. Start to wince, take computer to back closet. Proceed to almost cry in dark closet. Call bank and ask that my large student loan payments be stopped. NO Can Do. #FML. Swear More. Try to see in what way I can flip my bills around and somehow still pay on time and not be poor. Not possible. Phone bill’s due tomorrow. . . . #GonnaBePoor. Go to heat up coffee in office microwave. Blow Fuse. . . . . . . #SayFuck. Sit down and write this post.

It’s only 12:30 PM. That’s only the half of it!! (Literally).

I brought a turkey sandwich for lunch. A Margarita sounds better. Or Maybe a Cupcake. Or maybe, BOTH!

margarita cupcake

*Thank You BrownEyedBaker For This Tantalizing Image To Get Me Through My Day.

 Oh Monday. . . .Fuck You

I would also like to note that I have NEVER in my life paid all the wrong bills and that I can honestly say that I don’t always hate Mondays, I actually consider them a fresh start! Oh but this Monday. . . . This I can’t ignore.  While I was already aware this week would be a challenge, this is just NOT what I needed to kick it off. Maybe I’m being tested so that the rest of this week won’t seem so horrid? #WhoKnows.

What Hell Stricken Mondays Have You Had?

Cheers!

– C