For The Lack Of A Better Title – Confessions. *

It’s been a long week my friends. I say that in a good way. . . but truthfully, I’m exhausted. So anyhow, lets get in on the fun that is every Wednesday and jump right off the confession high dive!

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I watched Orange is the New Black – Season Two  release in less than 24 hours. I felt seriously guilty until I realized that half the First World had done the same. I actually fell short of a few people, and they have full time jobs. WHAT?? Major slacking on my part. Anyhow, it was GREAT. I wish I could make these shows last longer, but I’m a binger. I can’t help myself. Line them up, knock them down. #sorryNOTsorry. For now, I’ll pretty much be recovering as such until next June. . . .

I rolled right out of one addiction and into another. I woke up this morning and started season 4 of Pretty Little Liars. Since I didn’t start obsessing over this dramatic nonsense until last fall, I was forced to wait out season 4 for Netflix. Of course season 5 started last night but that’s what DVR is for. #Duh. I figured I would start by first watching the season finale of season 3 to refresh my memory. . . only to watch the first episode of season 4 that was a total recap. So annoying. I would have been totally pissed if I was actually a devoted fan of this crap and had waited between seasons for a “brand new episode” that just told me everything I already know. If the first episode of season 5 is anything like this, please let me know now. I will just delete it off my DVR now. . . I need room for other non-important shows. Ok but really, enough TV. I need to get a life.

I have a bachelorette party this weekend that I can’t wait for! I confess: these events are my jam. I can’t get enough of a big girls night out and bus loads of dramatic bitching. It’s a blessing to call this a “night out”. Really it is! Did I mention I won’t be drinking? SMFH. Never mind, kill me now. No but seriously, it should be fun. I just need to figure out if I’m going to give up on my “eyebrow strike” or not. . . . these little caterpillars are getting frisky. I also have no idea how to dress sexy. I mean I try my best, but I never get to the comfort level. I’m either Vegas or Baby Shower. . . . god help us  that I’m not both on Saturday. I’m thinking this GIF would make deciding my attire that much easier. . .

I can’t stop eating cookies. Like 3 sleeves of Oreos and at least a dozen quick mix sugar cookies (with frosting). I made cookies for my daughter’s lemonade stand this past weekend and had to “get rid of them”. . . AKA eat the remaining cookies in under 2 days. . . Now I can’t stop. I want more. #Help.

I’m currently playing housewife and recently realized I was better at meal planning when I was in the office 5 days a week then when I’m sitting my ass 10 feet away from our stove, ALL DAY. It’s a mix between “I don’t care” and “it’s too late to defrost this – lets order pizza”. I actually like cooking too, it’s just I can feel the laziness taking over my routine. I’m giving up. On the bright side, today I picked up a french baguette to grill with dinner. . . I just don’t know what “dinner” that would be. Did I mention it’s already 5pm? #BreadWithASideOfBread. #HopeYouLikeIt. #ILoveBread.

My daughter is really starting to test me. After a handful of tantrums, tempers and tossing shit about, I’m pretty sure my husband is losing his mind with the both of us. You can only argue with a 2 year old so many times until you start to sound like one yourself. #Me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t come home from work today . . . or worse: If he did.

I can still use my toilet without removing my daughter’s training seat. I have the ass of an eight year old boy and I’m not even upset about it. On the other hand, Paige gets VERY upset about it.

I am being featured as a guest blogger tomorrow with Chelsee over at Southern Beauty Guide. . . I  had no idea how to send this post. I seriously sent her like 9 emails, copy and pasted, html, millions of photo files. . . .I am pretty sure she will never ask me to guest blog for her again, thinks I’m crazy or both. #Noob. It’s a little DIY I did on our lemonade stand! I’m extremely excited but also nervous. I’ll have it up on the blog tomorrow so please leave me some love!!

So that about sums it up. . . a week full of confessions only to be followed by a recap full of GIFS. #ILoveThisDay. If you want to get in on the weekly tradition of Humpday Confessions with Kathy  at Vodka And Soda make sure to share the link below:

Or if you just want to meet new peeps and spread the good word, get in on The Hump Day Blog Hop With Liz over at Fitness Blondie!

 

 

Cheers,

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W is For Confessions *

Wednesdays are my favorite. . . probably because I get to work from home every Thursday #TGIW but also because I truly adore me some Humpday Confessions with Kathy over at Vodka And Soda. What could be better than tossing the monkey off your back and just letting it all air out? #IDontKnow. Plus it’s always fun to try new Link-Ups so I’m jumping aboard The Fitness Blondie wagon again too! So with that being said, I would really like to get to it.

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Confession #1: I want to add a GoogleFriendConnect widget to my blog and I have NO CLUE how to do it. I have been looking into it all morning after reading lots of other blogs and joining their connects. I feel like a lost puppy in “blog world” some days and I just need to figure my shit out. I never did figure out the Pin It options either (mentioned in this post) but then suddenly, Google Chrome answered my blog prayers and added the “Pin It” button to every photo you see on Google Chrome anyhow. For those of you that don’t use Chrome. . . . you’ll just have to wait until my tiny brain catches up. #ISwearImNotStupidJustLazy. So if ANYONE has any advice on how to do this, PLEASE SHARE! Thank you in advance!

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Confession #2: I want to blow up the billing department at my OBGYN’s office. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my OB. They delivered my daughter 2 months early and did an amazing job, they are some of the best doctors around . . . but their billing lady – lets call her Pam – (no seriously, that’s her real name), is a lonely old hag who clearly owns a lot of cats. Pam can’t keep track of anything. When I ask her to pull up any charges in my account more than 3 months prior (mind you, us ladies only visit the OB once a year) she refuses. Not to mention she has sent things to collections now 3 times that were already paid, mailed bills to an incorrect address for the past decade and then has the audacity to make a comment about how she “doesn’t know how anyone could go into collections for a mere $77.” Well lets see lady, I don’t either because that shit was paid, in full, 4 years ago. Stop brushing your cats and file my paperwork dammit! Now lets imagine if she had said that to 20-year-old Chelsea. Oh would the F-bombs be flying, because back then, I probably would have let $77 go into collections. I was flat broke in college. #WerentWeAll? Either way I thought it was incredibly rude and degrading, especially to someone who maybe couldn’t have afforded $77. Yes, I can now, but I’m sure there are plenty of people on this planet that could do a lot more with $77 then pay Pam’s incorrectly filed bullshit. The fact that she made the statement on her own error made her sound all the more ignorant. I gave her a piece of my mind and then promised to bury her cats alive. #ButSeriously, If it wasn’t for my lady parts requiring top-notch service, I would have 100% left this place by now.

Above: See Pam’s Starter Kit. . . Ordered roughly 9 years ago when she stopped giving a damn about her job and started billing shit incredibly wrong.

Confession #3: I haven’t had a day off since last Thursday and I can feel myself physically dying. #OkThatsALie. But honestly, I’m totally exhausted. The collaborative efforts of both Daylight Savings Time and working The Novi Golf Expo 30 hours this weekend have clearly contributed to my cranky demeanor, lack of personal time and what’s that called? Sleep. I don’t bode will with light rest. #Trust. Another Confession, I love me some GrumpyCat MeMe’s but hate cats. This one is perfect:

Confession #4: Speaking of Grumpy Cat, I thought that Meme was pronounced ME-ME. For forever. I work in social media. My friend that worked at Youtube finally called me out this past summer. F-Off everyone who’s laughing at me. . . #Embarrassing.

Confession #5: I ran a Giveaway this week. I screwed that shit ALL up. I also only have like 11 entries and it ends at midnight of the 17th. If you want to check it out feel free, but seriously just try not to make fun. It’s my first attempt at this and apparently WordPress and Rafflecopter are sworn enemies. . . I’m not even sure. Honestly, I think WordPress can just be a little bitch sometimes. . . I recently was informed that when I reply to your lovely blog comments with WP, it doesn’t inform you that I replied. What. The. Hell. #IGiveUp. Anyhow, if you want to try and win a FREE Print on me, #IHeardYourChancesArePrettyGood. . . . here’s the Entry Form:

Twine With A Twist’s Busted Ass Rafflecopter Giveaway

St. Patty's Day Giveaway

Confession #6: I hate Cheese. Like, all kinds. Sorry Amanda, I had to confess after reading your cheese filled blog today. But to all of those that love it, I support you. I completely accept that I’m the “exception”. . . ya’ll cheese gobblers are the “rule”.

If you want to get in on the madness, hop on over to Vodka and Soda and link-up with Kathy for some confessions. . .

or jump on in with Liz from Fitness Blondie’s Hump Day Blog Hop!

Happy Humpin! #TGIW 

Cheers, 

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Ashes To Ashes. Dust To Dust. *

Lent. Something I have yet to practice in my 28 years on this earth. Yes, I was baptized Catholic and while that’s typically where your journey in faith begins, mine pretty much about ends there too. I grew up in a happy home, a hopeful home and a humble home. No, we didn’t attend church, except for the occasional wedding, funeral, baptism etc. but that didn’t result in a lack of faith. Faith in what? I don’t really know. I still question that rather often, but I knew that things happened for a reason. I knew it wasn’t all just me. At least that’s what I was told. . . at this point in my life I can attest that it’s more than likely still the case.

But Lent? Lets be honest, I had never even heard the term “Lent” until my senior year of high school. I don’t know if it was the lack of catholic upbringing or the outright obliviousness that were my youthful years, but I had not a damn clue that Lent even existed.  When I did finally come to understand, I figured that unless I was an out-and-out Catholic, participating in the act of Lent would be somewhat hypocritical. To this day I still feel that same doubt. . . amongst other things.

Over the years I disregarded Lent. I couldn’t shake that feeling that I didn’t belong and it seemed to me that it was an easy out for people who failed on their New Year resolutions. 40 days and 40 nights. . . .totally same thing! [Right.] Not to mention all the ass hats who couldn’t make a faithful gesture if their lives depended on it are now “giving up” for Lent. Yes, I’m sure Baby Jesus adores you for those 40 days of sacrificing a Dr. Pepper. #Idiots.

Then in college came the jokers of lent. “I’m giving up sex”, “I’m giving up drinking”, “I’m giving up _________ (<—Insert incredibly immature and already uncondoned Catholic behavior here.)”. I mean seriously, if you were a true Catholic you would know that half the things you’re “giving up” weren’t supposed to be happening in the first place. #Sinners. You just read all sorts of stupid. As time passed and life went on, Lent would always be just another amusing month of nonreligious humans attempting to proclaim their Christianity by avoiding all things chocolate. . . OH and the never-ending “fish platters” during my Friday night bar shift.

After college, my husband and his sisters were the first people I was in direct contact with that took part in Lent. Our first Lent together, I was pregnant. PJ gave up Alcohol, or at least beer, I can’t really remember. While it was a sweet gesture to keep my fat, pregnant and sober ass in good and decent company. . . it’s still the same stupid concept that I mentioned above. No, he doesn’t go to church (anymore), he eats meat on Fridays and the only real reason he’s partaking is because it’s something to Tweet about. That same year I gave up caffeine, smoking, deli meat, medium-rare steak, alcohol, belly flops, mountain biking, crab legs, any future in professional sky-diving, my dream job at Titleist, a relocation to Boston, perfect abs, my genuinely decent physique and gravity (see ya later perky tatas). I will go on record saying that my first attempt at “Lent” was a blowout. #Winning. But seriously, I didn’t partake in Lent.

(Kathy This One’s For You! #HappyWednesday! ♥)

You see, life is all about sacrifices. I don’t need a calendar to tell me when it is I should consider “giving something up”. Just like I don’t need to attend a Sunday service to believe in “God”. Looking back on my life as it relates to religion, I know that one quote and one moment alone made a larger impact on me than any Sunday sermon or list of vows. It was a single line from the movie Simon Birch. . . . “Faith is not in a Floor Plan”. While this may seem incredibly stupid to many of you now, back in 1998 I was 12 years old. I was just beginning to understand the difference between how my friends were raised as it related to religion as opposed to myself. This statement helped me grasp on to what it is I wanted to trust in, that no mater where I was I could always believe. My family supported this in it’s entirety and from that moment forward it’s how I’ve viewed religion.

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So I confess (since it IS Wednesday) that I once again, can’t commit to Lent. It’s not the sacrifice or the 40 day loss- it’s the fact that in no faithful context would I feel obligated to equate my ability to stop snacking on Milky Way Darks to an act of spiritual selflessness. Granted, giving up particular habits (such as: Starbucks on Saturdays) can prove to be rather difficult, it doesn’t mean that in turn, the world is becoming a better place.

So with that being said, I’ll be giving up nothing- per usual. As I will continue to eat my morning Cheetos and digest yesterdays Biggby, I will also remind myself that I make sacrifices every single day. . .for family, for friends, for the future, for me. . . .  and I don’t stop at #40.

Also: Please jump in on Kathy’s Hump Day Confessions over at Vodka & Soda

& say Hello to Liz from Fitness Blondie with her Hump Day Blog Hop!

Get in on the action and meet new people, I know I can’t wait!

Cheers!

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