For The Lack Of A Better Title – Confessions. *

It’s been a long week my friends. I say that in a good way. . . but truthfully, I’m exhausted. So anyhow, lets get in on the fun that is every Wednesday and jump right off the confession high dive!

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I watched Orange is the New Black – Season Two  release in less than 24 hours. I felt seriously guilty until I realized that half the First World had done the same. I actually fell short of a few people, and they have full time jobs. WHAT?? Major slacking on my part. Anyhow, it was GREAT. I wish I could make these shows last longer, but I’m a binger. I can’t help myself. Line them up, knock them down. #sorryNOTsorry. For now, I’ll pretty much be recovering as such until next June. . . .

I rolled right out of one addiction and into another. I woke up this morning and started season 4 of Pretty Little Liars. Since I didn’t start obsessing over this dramatic nonsense until last fall, I was forced to wait out season 4 for Netflix. Of course season 5 started last night but that’s what DVR is for. #Duh. I figured I would start by first watching the season finale of season 3 to refresh my memory. . . only to watch the first episode of season 4 that was a total recap. So annoying. I would have been totally pissed if I was actually a devoted fan of this crap and had waited between seasons for a “brand new episode” that just told me everything I already know. If the first episode of season 5 is anything like this, please let me know now. I will just delete it off my DVR now. . . I need room for other non-important shows. Ok but really, enough TV. I need to get a life.

I have a bachelorette party this weekend that I can’t wait for! I confess: these events are my jam. I can’t get enough of a big girls night out and bus loads of dramatic bitching. It’s a blessing to call this a “night out”. Really it is! Did I mention I won’t be drinking? SMFH. Never mind, kill me now. No but seriously, it should be fun. I just need to figure out if I’m going to give up on my “eyebrow strike” or not. . . . these little caterpillars are getting frisky. I also have no idea how to dress sexy. I mean I try my best, but I never get to the comfort level. I’m either Vegas or Baby Shower. . . . god help us  that I’m not both on Saturday. I’m thinking this GIF would make deciding my attire that much easier. . .

I can’t stop eating cookies. Like 3 sleeves of Oreos and at least a dozen quick mix sugar cookies (with frosting). I made cookies for my daughter’s lemonade stand this past weekend and had to “get rid of them”. . . AKA eat the remaining cookies in under 2 days. . . Now I can’t stop. I want more. #Help.

I’m currently playing housewife and recently realized I was better at meal planning when I was in the office 5 days a week then when I’m sitting my ass 10 feet away from our stove, ALL DAY. It’s a mix between “I don’t care” and “it’s too late to defrost this – lets order pizza”. I actually like cooking too, it’s just I can feel the laziness taking over my routine. I’m giving up. On the bright side, today I picked up a french baguette to grill with dinner. . . I just don’t know what “dinner” that would be. Did I mention it’s already 5pm? #BreadWithASideOfBread. #HopeYouLikeIt. #ILoveBread.

My daughter is really starting to test me. After a handful of tantrums, tempers and tossing shit about, I’m pretty sure my husband is losing his mind with the both of us. You can only argue with a 2 year old so many times until you start to sound like one yourself. #Me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t come home from work today . . . or worse: If he did.

I can still use my toilet without removing my daughter’s training seat. I have the ass of an eight year old boy and I’m not even upset about it. On the other hand, Paige gets VERY upset about it.

I am being featured as a guest blogger tomorrow with Chelsee over at Southern Beauty Guide. . . I  had no idea how to send this post. I seriously sent her like 9 emails, copy and pasted, html, millions of photo files. . . .I am pretty sure she will never ask me to guest blog for her again, thinks I’m crazy or both. #Noob. It’s a little DIY I did on our lemonade stand! I’m extremely excited but also nervous. I’ll have it up on the blog tomorrow so please leave me some love!!

So that about sums it up. . . a week full of confessions only to be followed by a recap full of GIFS. #ILoveThisDay. If you want to get in on the weekly tradition of Humpday Confessions with Kathy  at Vodka And Soda make sure to share the link below:

Or if you just want to meet new peeps and spread the good word, get in on The Hump Day Blog Hop With Liz over at Fitness Blondie!

 

 

Cheers,

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Ashes To Ashes. Dust To Dust. *

Lent. Something I have yet to practice in my 28 years on this earth. Yes, I was baptized Catholic and while that’s typically where your journey in faith begins, mine pretty much about ends there too. I grew up in a happy home, a hopeful home and a humble home. No, we didn’t attend church, except for the occasional wedding, funeral, baptism etc. but that didn’t result in a lack of faith. Faith in what? I don’t really know. I still question that rather often, but I knew that things happened for a reason. I knew it wasn’t all just me. At least that’s what I was told. . . at this point in my life I can attest that it’s more than likely still the case.

But Lent? Lets be honest, I had never even heard the term “Lent” until my senior year of high school. I don’t know if it was the lack of catholic upbringing or the outright obliviousness that were my youthful years, but I had not a damn clue that Lent even existed.  When I did finally come to understand, I figured that unless I was an out-and-out Catholic, participating in the act of Lent would be somewhat hypocritical. To this day I still feel that same doubt. . . amongst other things.

Over the years I disregarded Lent. I couldn’t shake that feeling that I didn’t belong and it seemed to me that it was an easy out for people who failed on their New Year resolutions. 40 days and 40 nights. . . .totally same thing! [Right.] Not to mention all the ass hats who couldn’t make a faithful gesture if their lives depended on it are now “giving up” for Lent. Yes, I’m sure Baby Jesus adores you for those 40 days of sacrificing a Dr. Pepper. #Idiots.

Then in college came the jokers of lent. “I’m giving up sex”, “I’m giving up drinking”, “I’m giving up _________ (<—Insert incredibly immature and already uncondoned Catholic behavior here.)”. I mean seriously, if you were a true Catholic you would know that half the things you’re “giving up” weren’t supposed to be happening in the first place. #Sinners. You just read all sorts of stupid. As time passed and life went on, Lent would always be just another amusing month of nonreligious humans attempting to proclaim their Christianity by avoiding all things chocolate. . . OH and the never-ending “fish platters” during my Friday night bar shift.

After college, my husband and his sisters were the first people I was in direct contact with that took part in Lent. Our first Lent together, I was pregnant. PJ gave up Alcohol, or at least beer, I can’t really remember. While it was a sweet gesture to keep my fat, pregnant and sober ass in good and decent company. . . it’s still the same stupid concept that I mentioned above. No, he doesn’t go to church (anymore), he eats meat on Fridays and the only real reason he’s partaking is because it’s something to Tweet about. That same year I gave up caffeine, smoking, deli meat, medium-rare steak, alcohol, belly flops, mountain biking, crab legs, any future in professional sky-diving, my dream job at Titleist, a relocation to Boston, perfect abs, my genuinely decent physique and gravity (see ya later perky tatas). I will go on record saying that my first attempt at “Lent” was a blowout. #Winning. But seriously, I didn’t partake in Lent.

(Kathy This One’s For You! #HappyWednesday! ♥)

You see, life is all about sacrifices. I don’t need a calendar to tell me when it is I should consider “giving something up”. Just like I don’t need to attend a Sunday service to believe in “God”. Looking back on my life as it relates to religion, I know that one quote and one moment alone made a larger impact on me than any Sunday sermon or list of vows. It was a single line from the movie Simon Birch. . . . “Faith is not in a Floor Plan”. While this may seem incredibly stupid to many of you now, back in 1998 I was 12 years old. I was just beginning to understand the difference between how my friends were raised as it related to religion as opposed to myself. This statement helped me grasp on to what it is I wanted to trust in, that no mater where I was I could always believe. My family supported this in it’s entirety and from that moment forward it’s how I’ve viewed religion.

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So I confess (since it IS Wednesday) that I once again, can’t commit to Lent. It’s not the sacrifice or the 40 day loss- it’s the fact that in no faithful context would I feel obligated to equate my ability to stop snacking on Milky Way Darks to an act of spiritual selflessness. Granted, giving up particular habits (such as: Starbucks on Saturdays) can prove to be rather difficult, it doesn’t mean that in turn, the world is becoming a better place.

So with that being said, I’ll be giving up nothing- per usual. As I will continue to eat my morning Cheetos and digest yesterdays Biggby, I will also remind myself that I make sacrifices every single day. . .for family, for friends, for the future, for me. . . .  and I don’t stop at #40.

Also: Please jump in on Kathy’s Hump Day Confessions over at Vodka & Soda

& say Hello to Liz from Fitness Blondie with her Hump Day Blog Hop!

Get in on the action and meet new people, I know I can’t wait!

Cheers!

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What Day Is It?

Hello Hump Day! This day. Seriously. Ok, so I have to get right on my confessions this week. Literally, have been in need of confessions since basically the moment I stopped typing confessions to Kathy LAST Wednesday. . . anyhow. Here goes:

Confession #1: I can’t stop crying today. Like legit tears. I don’t ever cry (Reference to last weeks post about my dog dying- no tears) so that just tells you what kinda day it’s been. I’m at work mind you, *ps. this has nothing to do with work- I LOVE my coworkers and job!* so I keep creeping off to the bathroom like I have to pee my pants every 30 minutes. It’s pretty much awful, awkward and I just want to go home. And NO, I will not be sharing the dirty details today. . . Thank You. OH and Thank god for good friends and chocolate covered strawberries. My best girlies had these delivered to my office today because they knew I was down. . . . ♥ Them!

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Confession #2: I swear I talk about Chocolate Covered Strawberries like every other post, I’m sorry. Actually, I’m not but I will make a valiant effort to dial it down. Actually, no. That’s a lie too. This entire confession will more realistically result in my desire to bring up C.C.S-Berries all the more now.

Confession #3: I haven’t given Paige a bath in four days. Actually that’s another lie, she hasn’t had a bath in like six-seven days. She showered with me on Saturday night though. . . so that counts. Although mentioning to my husband that our 2 year old took a shower was sort of awkward. The whole event was awkward really. . . “Where’s Paige?” – “In The Shower.” Just say it out loud and look at this face:Screen Shot 2014-01-13 at 2.20.38 PM

Now: picture it in the shower. #DamnWeirdBaby. Regardless, I don’t feel that guilty as I’ve found lots of parents don’t bathe their nuggets every day. . . or even every other. Or every other,other. I mean personally, If I shit my pants once or twice a day I would want baths on the regular. Paige? Just doesn’t care. I mean sure she likes baths but she also likes 8,567 other things ALL at once, so her bath sometimes falls down the list.  . . . Oh forget it, I was being lazy. But seriously, I have a hard enough time squeezing in a shower for myself most days and now this? #MomProblems

Confession #4: After posting my previous confession I am now slightly nervous petrified that Child Protective Services will come knocking on my door because I neglected to bathe my OCD baby. Trust me- her 15 minute hand washing session 4-6 times a day more then make up for her lack of a luke-warm tub. . . .you would think she’s Howard Hughes in the Aviator.* #ISwearImAGoodMother.

*If you didn’t get the reference then I’m sorry. It’s funny. Just Google that shit already. Then laugh.

Confession #5: I must do YOGA tonight. I haven’t partaken in this relaxing ritual it almost two weeks. I was really getting into it for a while. I’m not one for many extra curricular activities- unless you count running up and down the stairs 9 times a night because I can’t seem to ever remember what I’m looking for in our basement storage room, like EVER– but Yoga’s different. I’ve needed something for ME this winter. Something to get out of my own head for 30 or so minutes. I golf and bike in the summer but this harsh winter has been hard on the soul and Yoga has helped. Plus I enjoy watching Paige attempt the poses. . . she’s actually getting pretty good. #NamasteBitches.

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That’s a wrap! For all of you that don’t know: Wednesday is the perfect occasion to head on over to Kathy’s link-up at Vodka & Soda and take part in her “HumpDay Confessions“. A hilarious excuse to air your dirty laundry, her links are just what the doctor ordered for your mid-week blues!

Cheers,

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Is There Still Time? Humpin’ It Up *

Ok so confession #1: I had all day to get this post done, it’s 11 pm. Here I am. #LazyAsHell. But seriously, I wasn’t being lazy (for once). I was actually hard at work all day- AKA rolled into the office around 10am, took a super long lunch with my girl Lindsey, painted my nails, then left early to head to Google’s- Best Startup In Detroit Competition to play “photographer” for a friend’s company. So my bad, but #SorryNotSorry. But regardless, glad I could link it up with Kathy over at Vodka&Soda for some HumpDay Confessions!

Confession #2: I raked in over $500 this week on my Etsy Page. I’m pretty much fucking awesome. Actually, my friends are all just buying my shit and that crazy bumble bee bitch who raked in a larger than life order, but regardless. #Winning!

Confession #3: I didn’t shower today. I’m about to climb into bed with my husband, who will attempt to do his own “Hump Day Confessionals”…. SHHHH. Don’t tell.

Confession #4: I can’t stop watching Pretty Little Liars on Netflix. I’m on season 3. DON’T FUCKING SPOIL THIS SHIT FOR ME. I know it’s a horrible show and it’s a little over the top (My Husband Hates It) but hey, I get hooked on this crap. It’s pure wonderful. Like THIS sort of wonderful. . . .

Confession #5: I don’t understand the difference between Ice Dancing And Figure Skating on the Olympics. Please Explain.

Side Bar: This is the same face I make when trying to distinguish the difference. . . which face? I don’t know, Both.

Confession #6: I have a huge boner for Will Smith. . . watched him on the new The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. White girl wants to get Jiggy With It.

Alright so that’s that. Lucky me, it’s still Wednesday *11:57 Pm Bitches!!!!. . . . TaTa for now!

Cheers!

– C