As If I Needed A Reason . . . Confessions *

So it’s my favorite Blogging day of the week! Why? Because I don’t have to get all creative. I just get to throw it all up and hope you people consider  my word vomit worthy of the internet. If not, I’m sorry. Not really, but I’ll say it anyhow. Regardless, it’s time to confess:

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So our power went out this morning due to a crazy storm. I would love to tell you that this is the reason I’m not posting until 4pm, but it’s not. I confess: I’m just lazy. After a morning spent living like a pilgrim, I decided to finally use a lighter to get my gas stove top going and make myself some hot water the old-fashioned way. Tea was a necessity. I then took it upon myself to completely remodel my daughter’s bedroom. (Because what else are you supposed to do with no internet, tv, bullet blender, and lights?) It wasn’t until about an hour and a half into this ordeal that I realized the power was back on. By mistake. I moved a lamp across the room and turned it on by habit, -TADA-it actually turned on. My dumb ass would have probably spent the better half of another 5 hours before I realized I wasn’t in the cretaceous period  if not for that lamp. Thank God I’m stupid.

I literally watched a full 25 hours of Pretty Little Liars Season 4 in only 5 days. That’s pathetic. Like seriously, that’s the equivalent of me staying up nonstop for an entire night AND day and not leaving the couch for anything. Or just basically doing nothing for like 5 days (5 hours a day) I don’t even care. I was all caught up for the second episode of Season 2 last night. It was like running my first marathon. #ForLazyPeople. I was so proud, until I realized I had to put up with commercials. Aint Nobody Got Time For That. Not to mention, I have to actually WAIT  7 days for the next episode? This must be what coming off drugs feels like. . . . #FirstWorldProblems.

I had to pay $64.00 for the dry cleaning  that I picked up this morning. WHAT THE F. I don’t even have a career that involves getting suits and pants pressed. I’ve not been this annoyed with spending  money on stupid shit for at least 3 months. I left feeling pretty much like this:

Tomorrow is Day 100 on my 100 Happy Days Challenge. I have NO clue what I should photograph to go out with a “Bang”. I could seriously use some inspiration so feel free to leave a comment or two on what you think would make a great finale!

I wore a dress and heels this weekend that would have looked great on a 21-year-old. On me? Not so much. I mean I can pull off leopard heels from time to time, but platform? No thanks, not EVER again. I also rode a party bus and danced at a club that featured half-naked women in platform cages and extremely loud music that I wasn’t familiar with. It became incredibly clear in a short amount of time that I’m officially not a 20 something, even if I’m entitled to another 1.5 years of 2_. It was an awesome night but for the first time in a long time, a bed, any bed, had never felt so fantastic. But seriously, I’m sticking with skinny jeans from here on out. . . .

I can’t stop making Frozen Hot Chocolates (And NOT From Tim Horton’s This Time!! – (See previous post that explains my past addiction). I came up with a homemade alternative (because I’m a frugal bitch) that is so stupid simple it’s just silly not to make 2-3 a day. Or 4. I am addicted already and I only decided to play around with a few recipes last week. So obsessed actually that I’m using my DIY Thursday post tomorrow to feature a recipe you can make with stuff you probably all have lying around your house already. Check it out if you want in on the affordable goodness that is to come.

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On that note I’m getting the hell out of here before the power goes again . . . another storm rolling in! But before I run, let me remind you to head on over to Humpday Confessions with Kathy over at Vodka & Soda – the perfect place to air your dirty laundry.

If that’s not really your style (but seriously, who don’t love a good reason to get it all out), get on over to The Hump Day Blog Hop with Liz at Fitness Blondie, another great way to meet new Bloggers and share your simple selfs!

Cheers,

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For The Lack Of A Better Title – Confessions. *

It’s been a long week my friends. I say that in a good way. . . but truthfully, I’m exhausted. So anyhow, lets get in on the fun that is every Wednesday and jump right off the confession high dive!

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I watched Orange is the New Black – Season Two  release in less than 24 hours. I felt seriously guilty until I realized that half the First World had done the same. I actually fell short of a few people, and they have full time jobs. WHAT?? Major slacking on my part. Anyhow, it was GREAT. I wish I could make these shows last longer, but I’m a binger. I can’t help myself. Line them up, knock them down. #sorryNOTsorry. For now, I’ll pretty much be recovering as such until next June. . . .

I rolled right out of one addiction and into another. I woke up this morning and started season 4 of Pretty Little Liars. Since I didn’t start obsessing over this dramatic nonsense until last fall, I was forced to wait out season 4 for Netflix. Of course season 5 started last night but that’s what DVR is for. #Duh. I figured I would start by first watching the season finale of season 3 to refresh my memory. . . only to watch the first episode of season 4 that was a total recap. So annoying. I would have been totally pissed if I was actually a devoted fan of this crap and had waited between seasons for a “brand new episode” that just told me everything I already know. If the first episode of season 5 is anything like this, please let me know now. I will just delete it off my DVR now. . . I need room for other non-important shows. Ok but really, enough TV. I need to get a life.

I have a bachelorette party this weekend that I can’t wait for! I confess: these events are my jam. I can’t get enough of a big girls night out and bus loads of dramatic bitching. It’s a blessing to call this a “night out”. Really it is! Did I mention I won’t be drinking? SMFH. Never mind, kill me now. No but seriously, it should be fun. I just need to figure out if I’m going to give up on my “eyebrow strike” or not. . . . these little caterpillars are getting frisky. I also have no idea how to dress sexy. I mean I try my best, but I never get to the comfort level. I’m either Vegas or Baby Shower. . . . god help us  that I’m not both on Saturday. I’m thinking this GIF would make deciding my attire that much easier. . .

I can’t stop eating cookies. Like 3 sleeves of Oreos and at least a dozen quick mix sugar cookies (with frosting). I made cookies for my daughter’s lemonade stand this past weekend and had to “get rid of them”. . . AKA eat the remaining cookies in under 2 days. . . Now I can’t stop. I want more. #Help.

I’m currently playing housewife and recently realized I was better at meal planning when I was in the office 5 days a week then when I’m sitting my ass 10 feet away from our stove, ALL DAY. It’s a mix between “I don’t care” and “it’s too late to defrost this – lets order pizza”. I actually like cooking too, it’s just I can feel the laziness taking over my routine. I’m giving up. On the bright side, today I picked up a french baguette to grill with dinner. . . I just don’t know what “dinner” that would be. Did I mention it’s already 5pm? #BreadWithASideOfBread. #HopeYouLikeIt. #ILoveBread.

My daughter is really starting to test me. After a handful of tantrums, tempers and tossing shit about, I’m pretty sure my husband is losing his mind with the both of us. You can only argue with a 2 year old so many times until you start to sound like one yourself. #Me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t come home from work today . . . or worse: If he did.

I can still use my toilet without removing my daughter’s training seat. I have the ass of an eight year old boy and I’m not even upset about it. On the other hand, Paige gets VERY upset about it.

I am being featured as a guest blogger tomorrow with Chelsee over at Southern Beauty Guide. . . I  had no idea how to send this post. I seriously sent her like 9 emails, copy and pasted, html, millions of photo files. . . .I am pretty sure she will never ask me to guest blog for her again, thinks I’m crazy or both. #Noob. It’s a little DIY I did on our lemonade stand! I’m extremely excited but also nervous. I’ll have it up on the blog tomorrow so please leave me some love!!

So that about sums it up. . . a week full of confessions only to be followed by a recap full of GIFS. #ILoveThisDay. If you want to get in on the weekly tradition of Humpday Confessions with Kathy  at Vodka And Soda make sure to share the link below:

Or if you just want to meet new peeps and spread the good word, get in on The Hump Day Blog Hop With Liz over at Fitness Blondie!

 

 

Cheers,

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These Are My Confessions. *

I’m just going to jump right in today as I don’t have time for some class act intro. . . .so here we go:

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I confess. . . I couldn’t wait to post this week strictly because of this photo. It’s basically amazing and I used to be ALL up in this jam. Middle School days re-lived. #Winning. #TheseAreMyConfessions #Usher

I often strategically leave “my” iPad in an easily accessible location before bed for my daughter to find each morning. It equates to an additional 30 minutes + of sleep for me. As long as she has the iPad, she’s completely preoccupied AKA forgets she needs to pull my hair, steal my blankets, yell my name for no reason and shriek loudly for food. It’s pretty much the best idea I’ve ever had.

I plan to make this Lemonade stand for my daughter today . . . . It’s pretty much amazing. Since I’m currently just running my Etsy Shop from home, I figure: Why not put my almost 3-year-old to work? She needs to start pulling her weight. Did I mention my mother is coming over to help us get supplies and construct? #GodHelpUs. #GirlsDayGoneWrong. #ToolTime!

I offered to guest post for Chelsee next Thursday over at Southern Beauty Guide. I’m beyond excited!! I haven’t a clue what I’m going to publish yet but I can’t wait to be featured on such a fun blog. Great girl, great blog, great name! (I’m a little partial). Seriously though, what should I post?? GO check her out and let me know your thoughts!!

I can’t stop eating Lucky Charms. It’s not even normal. . . . went to Costco and got our 2nd family pack in less than 2 weeks. I need an intervention.

I’ve decided I’m growing out my eyebrows. It’s already been 2 months, I rarely go out in public, and nobody (cough. cough. MOM) taught me how to handle this situation in the first place so I’m pretty sure I’ve been doing it all wrong since day one. Why not start over? In the mean time, this is me. . . . .(BTW: This is an entire GIF link dedicated to eyebrows. I God damn love the internet.)

We had deer in our yard today. Now I realize to some of you that’s a totally normal occurrence, but we live off a major intersection with limited fields/wooded areas around, basically a city. . . Deer don’t just come about often/ever. I’m not really confessing anything here, but because of this I have to share this Facebook status update from my sister in-law back in 2011. I wish I still had her initial text message asking for assistance. #Hilarious. #DeerStandingByYourCarAre NOTAnEmergency.

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With that, I’m out of here!

Check out how you can confess every Wednesday with Kathy of Vodka & Soda or just Link-Up for the hell of it with Liz at Fitness Blondie for her weekly Hump Day Blog Hop! #GetIt.

 

Cheers!

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I Don’t Believe You *

Hello again! While it wasn’t exactly my plan to fly off the radar for the last 5 days, it definitely wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen. I planned on  posting yesterday but my internet was absolute crap (Thank the Lord it was taken care of early this AM) and I in no way could make a post or access the outside world. #SocialMediaCareerProblems.

No seriously though, not a single thing was accomplished at work or in my personal world. I would never wish a broken server on anyone, especially in a professional Social Media / Online Company atmosphere.

So to kick of confessions, I would first like to admit that I enjoyed my time off. While some of you may have noticed that I did make a post on Monday, it was truthfully a re-blog from an amazing story over on evoL=. It’s not that I didn’t plan on posting, I just felt that this incredible story of a close friend was worth overriding whatever nonsense garbage I would have otherwise considered feeding you people. Regardless, it’s been since Friday that I’ve really put any thought into blogging so, #SorryNotSorry. I needed this. It was an incredibly relaxing weekend, the weather finally broke for a few days and I relished my valuable time enjoying the first few seconds of Spring.

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Next: I have been carpooling with my husband to work as of late. It’s only Wednesday (Day Three) and it’s been Hell. I have a career that doesn’t require me to be in office at 8am. . .  I typically stroll in around 10am. #ThankGodForStartUpCulture. Today? 7:20 am and I’m getting dropped down town. #FML. I am NOT a morning person. The best part? My office isn’t even occupied until 9am. Instead of asking for a key and chilling in the creepy office alone I have found pure enjoyment in kickin’ it at the Coney Island each morning and people watching. They also have no Wifi. Bad? No, not really. It’s actually forcing me to spend more time creating prints for my Etsy shop. The growth I’ve produced in only 3 days by spending an additional 2 hours each morning on something I love has been astonishing. #TheUpside.

I ran a Facebook promotion for my side business. . . I hated it. I work in social yet I despise social media because of it. I thought I would give Facebook another chance for my personal side business – as they have dicked me over in my professional world time and again – WHAT a waste of life. (Oh, and $5.) Seriously though, I can’t stop verbally attacking FB today, or any day. It’s like word vomit and I don’t even . . .

Moving On: My daughter finally used the potty this weekend! #Yay! Our dog immediately followed up the celebration by eating the baby’s shit OUT of the potty. #Boo.

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I’m being a super slacker already. I’m writing this post as I sit on a couch in my office listening to one of the owners speak out of his ass about our company to a bunch of IT students from a local community college. I feel slightly guilty as I set up this event with the college placement dept. and elected him to speak (since he loves to hear himself talk). He’s honestly really good at BS’ing and it’s the perfect event for such a vibrant individual with such a colorful personality -no he’s not gay, just obnoxious in a good way- that is until we realized he knows nothing about Information Technology. #WingItBaby! #ILoveMyJob. But seriously, I must have missed the part where it was going to be only IT students. #Woops?

I had my hair colored last Thursday. I love it. I can’t stop looking at it. It could be my favorite color ever and I don’t even care if I’m being a vain Bitch right now. #ILookGood.

I sit next to a kid (he’s literally 21) named Andrew at my work who answers customer calls. He never believes me when I tell him he looks like Carl from Walking Dead (probably because he doesn’t watch the show) . . . until I found this hat, took these pictures and made this collage. #TheEnd. I would also like to note that Carl is a little rat and for any of you that watch the show, he ALMOST deserved what he was about to get on the season finale. . . Almost.

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I have 3 showers for the next 3 weekends. I’m already annoyed and I haven’t even decided on what I’m going to wear yet. #TheWorstPart – I seriously hate dressing up in general and baby/wedding showers seem to be my biggest downfall.

Lastly,

I stole the photos and URL’s for today’s  link-ups (provided below) from Amanda over at Voyage of the MeeMee‘s blog because I was too lazy to scroll through my 300+ unread blogs to find each of your posts. . . I swear I will read them in a hot second, just let me get this off the press first. #ItsBeen5Days! #Thanks. XO.

If you have something to get off your chest on this beautiful little Wednesday, make sure you stop on over at Vodka And Soda for Kathy’s Weekly “Humpday Confessions” and link-up any post your heart desires with Liz From Fitness Blondie for her weekly Hump Day Blog Hop!!

 

Cheers,

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The Lost Confessions *

I can’t help but surrender to the idea that I’m incapable of pre-planning my blogging week. While I look forward to the day that I can call myself “organized”, it doesn’t help that I’m currently a ball of chaos. I confess, I love creeping on all the ideal Pinterest ways in which to Organize/Promote/Influence your blog, but let’s be real, between my full-time career, part-time Etsy business, being a mom, wife, and living anything remotely close to a life. . . .pre-planning a blog is hardly on my to-do list!

To be brutally honest, I confess: I have been super proud of myself for even getting on here almost every day and getting something on paper! While I’ve always been a bit of a procrastinator, I tend to do my best work in the heat of the moment the last damn second of my day. Hell, I typically don’t even post for the day until 4pm and THAT is another thing I hope to change. . . you and your morning posts! #OverAchievers!!! I have these grand ideas you see, of a blog that has substance, flow, even an “agenda”. . . . right now it’s just a damn disaster and I truly appreciate all of you that follow along while I stumble to find my footing!

While the majority of the blogs I follow have a solid voice, I have to admit that I in no way have any idea where this little guy’s going. I have this schedule in mind where every week I do something like: Monday: (insert idea here- probably bad that I can’t even start the week with a solid thought), Tuesday: (something about married life, motherhood, serious shit), Wednesday: (Confessions & Funny stuff), Thursday: (DIY And How-To’s), Friday: (Favorites) and the Weekend: Well, you’re lucky if I even think twice about the blogisphere! This my friends is a long way off from my current status and while I hope to one day make it, for now I’m completely ok with having absolutely nothing in mind when I click “New Post”. #LiterallyNothing.

Confession: This post wasn’t decided until I clicked on “New Post”. I typically am bursting with confessions but I wanted to take this weeks Rant to a more organized place. #BecauseThinkingOutLoudIsAlwaysSoOrganized. [Right]. But seriously, what’s more to confess when you’ve come to realize that you’re confessing to yourself that you can’t even come up with a topic for confessions?!?. . . That is stems back to the fact that you have to admit (confess) that you aren’t the most organized blogger, then you realize that your faults are just piling up and all result in the simple fact that you can’t pick a damn topic to write about! Thank God for Kathy over at Vodka and Soda for at least solidifying my Wednesdays with a constant theme. If it wasn’t for her Humpday Confessions, I’m positive Wednesdays would be another (insert idea here) kind of day! Obviously, make sure you go check her out – It’s a great Wednesday tradition.

While I’m positive you’ve all been in my shoes (if you haven’t, stop bragging!), I would love a bit of advice on where and when you  found your “flow” – If you will? Do you even have one? Am I supposed to be this worried about it? How in the F do you guys plan out your blogs and if you don’t how in the hell do you find interesting material? What tips do you have for me?

Sincerely,

The Lost Blogger.

 

Ps. Make sure you stop over at Fitness Blondie’s: Hump Day Blog Hop for more mid-week fun as well and link-up with the rest of her crew!

Cheers,

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Ways In Which I Irresponsibly Utilize My Toddler – Volume I *

Since it’s Wednesday, I would like to take this time to confess the multiple things that I incorrectly utilize my toddler for at home. . . (while also confessing the complete lack of guilt that comes along with said post.) I believe this to be the beginning of a series of posts that will include other environments, situations and/or scenarios in which you can utilize your children improperly so please feel free to jump in with any and all ideas in the comments section below. I hope that you find this topic incredibly useful and I anticipate that if you don’t already have tiny tots of your own, you will come to appreciate their incredible versatility. Hell, maybe you will be so inspired as to go get one of your own!

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The Top Ten Things Toddlers Are Incredibly Useful For (Around The House):

  1. Alarm Clock – Paige walks in each morning roughly 5 minutes after my husband leaves for work. After anywhere between 2 to 3 weeks of this reoccurring routine, I have concluded that setting an alarm on my phone for 8:00 am is pointless. (Yes, I wake up at 8. Don’t judge me – I have a flex schedule I’m not a morning person.)
  2. Maid – Paige literally ENJOYS cleaning. I can’t take credit for this. While I do try to express the importance of a “clean” home, her Montessori wins the “child slave labor” award. She came home after only 2 weeks of school with the desire to wipe tables, throw away her own diapers and toss dirty laundry down our shoot. I don’t know what they are teaching her there but. . . #Winning.
  3. Remote Retrieval – Example: Mommy sits down on couch, forgets remote is across the room. “Paige will you please grab mommy the remote for the TV?” Paige grabs remote and brings to mommy. The end.
  4. Closer of All Things Open – I believe that Paige suffers from some mild form of OCD. I’m ok with this. So far it’s caused nothing but a few small arguments including the reasonable amount of times per day one baby should wash their hands, that cheerios cannot be lined up one-by-one (in a perfectly straight line) across the entire couch or that her juice cup doesn’t always HAVE to be placed in the cup holder. Despite these minor speed bumps we have come to notice some incredibly useful side effects, one being: no cupboard or drawer shall ever be left open in her presence. This also applies to the fridge and toilet seats. (Mind you, she doesn’t even use a toilet yet). She also enjoys rinsing dirty dishes, as this some how equates to additional “hand washes” – #Yipee.
  5. Interior Decorating: I have -on more than one occasion- utilized Paige’s infatuation with paint to assist in decorating my home. Hand her random object, brush, desired color of paint and Ta-Da! It’s done and all I had to do was supervise. Note: This event can/may result in discolored carpeting, colorful hair and/or pink dog fur. #SorryBaxter.
  6. Vacuum: Paige and Baxter take this responsibility incredibly serious. While toddler spills are often just as few and far between as the act of eating said spill off the floor (right), Paige is a stickler for cleaning every damn speck of anything off the ground, couch, table, etc. She has and will continue to bring me microscopic pieces of lint with the utmost concern. For this I am not thankful, just annoyed.
  7. Towel Boy – Ok she’s a girl, but you get the point. Every time I get in the shower and forget to grab a towel: “Paige, Mommy needs a towel!” She delivers with incredible speed, like Jimmy Johns. #FreakyFast.
  8. Dog Duty – Paige is responsible for giving our dog, Baxter, all of his treats. I am too lazy to get off the couch and do it myself, plus find very little reason to reward him – he’s kind of an ass. Paige also assists in Baxter’s bath time and alerts us as to when he would like to be let in from outside. #BecauseICouldNotHearTheExcessiveBarking.
  9. Helpful Hanger – Paige hands each article of clothing to mommy to be hung in her closet thus alleviating any effort of bending over to grab tiny clothes from laundry basket. She also sorts socks and sucks at it.
  10. Designated Dustpan Aficionado – Holds dustpan while I sweep floors. #ProbablyHerFavoriteThingOnTheList.

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And that’s a wrap! While I’m sure my husband can contribute any number of additional pointers to this already growing list, I feel that this first edition is one worth documenting. Do you utilize your children in irresponsible ways? Feel like adding one to the list or just attempting a few of these on your own time? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below! Note To Readers: To avoid any and all confusion: this post was clearly made in a humorous context. Anyone lacking a facetious remark will be swiftly smacked and removed from all comments until further notice. We like to laugh here.

If there is something you feel like confessing (like how badly you want to report me to CPS), make sure you hop on over to Kathy’s link-up at Vodka And Soda for her Humpday Confessions and get in on all the weekly fun!

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Happy Hump Day!

Cheers, 

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W is For Confessions *

Wednesdays are my favorite. . . probably because I get to work from home every Thursday #TGIW but also because I truly adore me some Humpday Confessions with Kathy over at Vodka And Soda. What could be better than tossing the monkey off your back and just letting it all air out? #IDontKnow. Plus it’s always fun to try new Link-Ups so I’m jumping aboard The Fitness Blondie wagon again too! So with that being said, I would really like to get to it.

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Confession #1: I want to add a GoogleFriendConnect widget to my blog and I have NO CLUE how to do it. I have been looking into it all morning after reading lots of other blogs and joining their connects. I feel like a lost puppy in “blog world” some days and I just need to figure my shit out. I never did figure out the Pin It options either (mentioned in this post) but then suddenly, Google Chrome answered my blog prayers and added the “Pin It” button to every photo you see on Google Chrome anyhow. For those of you that don’t use Chrome. . . . you’ll just have to wait until my tiny brain catches up. #ISwearImNotStupidJustLazy. So if ANYONE has any advice on how to do this, PLEASE SHARE! Thank you in advance!

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Confession #2: I want to blow up the billing department at my OBGYN’s office. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my OB. They delivered my daughter 2 months early and did an amazing job, they are some of the best doctors around . . . but their billing lady – lets call her Pam – (no seriously, that’s her real name), is a lonely old hag who clearly owns a lot of cats. Pam can’t keep track of anything. When I ask her to pull up any charges in my account more than 3 months prior (mind you, us ladies only visit the OB once a year) she refuses. Not to mention she has sent things to collections now 3 times that were already paid, mailed bills to an incorrect address for the past decade and then has the audacity to make a comment about how she “doesn’t know how anyone could go into collections for a mere $77.” Well lets see lady, I don’t either because that shit was paid, in full, 4 years ago. Stop brushing your cats and file my paperwork dammit! Now lets imagine if she had said that to 20-year-old Chelsea. Oh would the F-bombs be flying, because back then, I probably would have let $77 go into collections. I was flat broke in college. #WerentWeAll? Either way I thought it was incredibly rude and degrading, especially to someone who maybe couldn’t have afforded $77. Yes, I can now, but I’m sure there are plenty of people on this planet that could do a lot more with $77 then pay Pam’s incorrectly filed bullshit. The fact that she made the statement on her own error made her sound all the more ignorant. I gave her a piece of my mind and then promised to bury her cats alive. #ButSeriously, If it wasn’t for my lady parts requiring top-notch service, I would have 100% left this place by now.

Above: See Pam’s Starter Kit. . . Ordered roughly 9 years ago when she stopped giving a damn about her job and started billing shit incredibly wrong.

Confession #3: I haven’t had a day off since last Thursday and I can feel myself physically dying. #OkThatsALie. But honestly, I’m totally exhausted. The collaborative efforts of both Daylight Savings Time and working The Novi Golf Expo 30 hours this weekend have clearly contributed to my cranky demeanor, lack of personal time and what’s that called? Sleep. I don’t bode will with light rest. #Trust. Another Confession, I love me some GrumpyCat MeMe’s but hate cats. This one is perfect:

Confession #4: Speaking of Grumpy Cat, I thought that Meme was pronounced ME-ME. For forever. I work in social media. My friend that worked at Youtube finally called me out this past summer. F-Off everyone who’s laughing at me. . . #Embarrassing.

Confession #5: I ran a Giveaway this week. I screwed that shit ALL up. I also only have like 11 entries and it ends at midnight of the 17th. If you want to check it out feel free, but seriously just try not to make fun. It’s my first attempt at this and apparently WordPress and Rafflecopter are sworn enemies. . . I’m not even sure. Honestly, I think WordPress can just be a little bitch sometimes. . . I recently was informed that when I reply to your lovely blog comments with WP, it doesn’t inform you that I replied. What. The. Hell. #IGiveUp. Anyhow, if you want to try and win a FREE Print on me, #IHeardYourChancesArePrettyGood. . . . here’s the Entry Form:

Twine With A Twist’s Busted Ass Rafflecopter Giveaway

St. Patty's Day Giveaway

Confession #6: I hate Cheese. Like, all kinds. Sorry Amanda, I had to confess after reading your cheese filled blog today. But to all of those that love it, I support you. I completely accept that I’m the “exception”. . . ya’ll cheese gobblers are the “rule”.

If you want to get in on the madness, hop on over to Vodka and Soda and link-up with Kathy for some confessions. . .

or jump on in with Liz from Fitness Blondie’s Hump Day Blog Hop!

Happy Humpin! #TGIW 

Cheers, 

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Ashes To Ashes. Dust To Dust. *

Lent. Something I have yet to practice in my 28 years on this earth. Yes, I was baptized Catholic and while that’s typically where your journey in faith begins, mine pretty much about ends there too. I grew up in a happy home, a hopeful home and a humble home. No, we didn’t attend church, except for the occasional wedding, funeral, baptism etc. but that didn’t result in a lack of faith. Faith in what? I don’t really know. I still question that rather often, but I knew that things happened for a reason. I knew it wasn’t all just me. At least that’s what I was told. . . at this point in my life I can attest that it’s more than likely still the case.

But Lent? Lets be honest, I had never even heard the term “Lent” until my senior year of high school. I don’t know if it was the lack of catholic upbringing or the outright obliviousness that were my youthful years, but I had not a damn clue that Lent even existed.  When I did finally come to understand, I figured that unless I was an out-and-out Catholic, participating in the act of Lent would be somewhat hypocritical. To this day I still feel that same doubt. . . amongst other things.

Over the years I disregarded Lent. I couldn’t shake that feeling that I didn’t belong and it seemed to me that it was an easy out for people who failed on their New Year resolutions. 40 days and 40 nights. . . .totally same thing! [Right.] Not to mention all the ass hats who couldn’t make a faithful gesture if their lives depended on it are now “giving up” for Lent. Yes, I’m sure Baby Jesus adores you for those 40 days of sacrificing a Dr. Pepper. #Idiots.

Then in college came the jokers of lent. “I’m giving up sex”, “I’m giving up drinking”, “I’m giving up _________ (<—Insert incredibly immature and already uncondoned Catholic behavior here.)”. I mean seriously, if you were a true Catholic you would know that half the things you’re “giving up” weren’t supposed to be happening in the first place. #Sinners. You just read all sorts of stupid. As time passed and life went on, Lent would always be just another amusing month of nonreligious humans attempting to proclaim their Christianity by avoiding all things chocolate. . . OH and the never-ending “fish platters” during my Friday night bar shift.

After college, my husband and his sisters were the first people I was in direct contact with that took part in Lent. Our first Lent together, I was pregnant. PJ gave up Alcohol, or at least beer, I can’t really remember. While it was a sweet gesture to keep my fat, pregnant and sober ass in good and decent company. . . it’s still the same stupid concept that I mentioned above. No, he doesn’t go to church (anymore), he eats meat on Fridays and the only real reason he’s partaking is because it’s something to Tweet about. That same year I gave up caffeine, smoking, deli meat, medium-rare steak, alcohol, belly flops, mountain biking, crab legs, any future in professional sky-diving, my dream job at Titleist, a relocation to Boston, perfect abs, my genuinely decent physique and gravity (see ya later perky tatas). I will go on record saying that my first attempt at “Lent” was a blowout. #Winning. But seriously, I didn’t partake in Lent.

(Kathy This One’s For You! #HappyWednesday! ♥)

You see, life is all about sacrifices. I don’t need a calendar to tell me when it is I should consider “giving something up”. Just like I don’t need to attend a Sunday service to believe in “God”. Looking back on my life as it relates to religion, I know that one quote and one moment alone made a larger impact on me than any Sunday sermon or list of vows. It was a single line from the movie Simon Birch. . . . “Faith is not in a Floor Plan”. While this may seem incredibly stupid to many of you now, back in 1998 I was 12 years old. I was just beginning to understand the difference between how my friends were raised as it related to religion as opposed to myself. This statement helped me grasp on to what it is I wanted to trust in, that no mater where I was I could always believe. My family supported this in it’s entirety and from that moment forward it’s how I’ve viewed religion.

Simon Birch.jpg

So I confess (since it IS Wednesday) that I once again, can’t commit to Lent. It’s not the sacrifice or the 40 day loss- it’s the fact that in no faithful context would I feel obligated to equate my ability to stop snacking on Milky Way Darks to an act of spiritual selflessness. Granted, giving up particular habits (such as: Starbucks on Saturdays) can prove to be rather difficult, it doesn’t mean that in turn, the world is becoming a better place.

So with that being said, I’ll be giving up nothing- per usual. As I will continue to eat my morning Cheetos and digest yesterdays Biggby, I will also remind myself that I make sacrifices every single day. . .for family, for friends, for the future, for me. . . .  and I don’t stop at #40.

Also: Please jump in on Kathy’s Hump Day Confessions over at Vodka & Soda

& say Hello to Liz from Fitness Blondie with her Hump Day Blog Hop!

Get in on the action and meet new people, I know I can’t wait!

Cheers!

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