These Are My Confessions. *

I’m just going to jump right in today as I don’t have time for some class act intro. . . .so here we go:

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I confess. . . I couldn’t wait to post this week strictly because of this photo. It’s basically amazing and I used to be ALL up in this jam. Middle School days re-lived. #Winning. #TheseAreMyConfessions #Usher

I often strategically leave “my” iPad in an easily accessible location before bed for my daughter to find each morning. It equates to an additional 30 minutes + of sleep for me. As long as she has the iPad, she’s completely preoccupied AKA forgets she needs to pull my hair, steal my blankets, yell my name for no reason and shriek loudly for food. It’s pretty much the best idea I’ve ever had.

I plan to make this Lemonade stand for my daughter today . . . . It’s pretty much amazing. Since I’m currently just running my Etsy Shop from home, I figure: Why not put my almost 3-year-old to work? She needs to start pulling her weight. Did I mention my mother is coming over to help us get supplies and construct? #GodHelpUs. #GirlsDayGoneWrong. #ToolTime!

I offered to guest post for Chelsee next Thursday over at Southern Beauty Guide. I’m beyond excited!! I haven’t a clue what I’m going to publish yet but I can’t wait to be featured on such a fun blog. Great girl, great blog, great name! (I’m a little partial). Seriously though, what should I post?? GO check her out and let me know your thoughts!!

I can’t stop eating Lucky Charms. It’s not even normal. . . . went to Costco and got our 2nd family pack in less than 2 weeks. I need an intervention.

I’ve decided I’m growing out my eyebrows. It’s already been 2 months, I rarely go out in public, and nobody (cough. cough. MOM) taught me how to handle this situation in the first place so I’m pretty sure I’ve been doing it all wrong since day one. Why not start over? In the mean time, this is me. . . . .(BTW: This is an entire GIF link dedicated to eyebrows. I God damn love the internet.)

We had deer in our yard today. Now I realize to some of you that’s a totally normal occurrence, but we live off a major intersection with limited fields/wooded areas around, basically a city. . . Deer don’t just come about often/ever. I’m not really confessing anything here, but because of this I have to share this Facebook status update from my sister in-law back in 2011. I wish I still had her initial text message asking for assistance. #Hilarious. #DeerStandingByYourCarAre NOTAnEmergency.

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With that, I’m out of here!

Check out how you can confess every Wednesday with Kathy of Vodka & Soda or just Link-Up for the hell of it with Liz at Fitness Blondie for her weekly Hump Day Blog Hop! #GetIt.

 

Cheers!

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I Don’t Believe You *

Hello again! While it wasn’t exactly my plan to fly off the radar for the last 5 days, it definitely wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen. I planned on  posting yesterday but my internet was absolute crap (Thank the Lord it was taken care of early this AM) and I in no way could make a post or access the outside world. #SocialMediaCareerProblems.

No seriously though, not a single thing was accomplished at work or in my personal world. I would never wish a broken server on anyone, especially in a professional Social Media / Online Company atmosphere.

So to kick of confessions, I would first like to admit that I enjoyed my time off. While some of you may have noticed that I did make a post on Monday, it was truthfully a re-blog from an amazing story over on evoL=. It’s not that I didn’t plan on posting, I just felt that this incredible story of a close friend was worth overriding whatever nonsense garbage I would have otherwise considered feeding you people. Regardless, it’s been since Friday that I’ve really put any thought into blogging so, #SorryNotSorry. I needed this. It was an incredibly relaxing weekend, the weather finally broke for a few days and I relished my valuable time enjoying the first few seconds of Spring.

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Next: I have been carpooling with my husband to work as of late. It’s only Wednesday (Day Three) and it’s been Hell. I have a career that doesn’t require me to be in office at 8am. . .  I typically stroll in around 10am. #ThankGodForStartUpCulture. Today? 7:20 am and I’m getting dropped down town. #FML. I am NOT a morning person. The best part? My office isn’t even occupied until 9am. Instead of asking for a key and chilling in the creepy office alone I have found pure enjoyment in kickin’ it at the Coney Island each morning and people watching. They also have no Wifi. Bad? No, not really. It’s actually forcing me to spend more time creating prints for my Etsy shop. The growth I’ve produced in only 3 days by spending an additional 2 hours each morning on something I love has been astonishing. #TheUpside.

I ran a Facebook promotion for my side business. . . I hated it. I work in social yet I despise social media because of it. I thought I would give Facebook another chance for my personal side business – as they have dicked me over in my professional world time and again – WHAT a waste of life. (Oh, and $5.) Seriously though, I can’t stop verbally attacking FB today, or any day. It’s like word vomit and I don’t even . . .

Moving On: My daughter finally used the potty this weekend! #Yay! Our dog immediately followed up the celebration by eating the baby’s shit OUT of the potty. #Boo.

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I’m being a super slacker already. I’m writing this post as I sit on a couch in my office listening to one of the owners speak out of his ass about our company to a bunch of IT students from a local community college. I feel slightly guilty as I set up this event with the college placement dept. and elected him to speak (since he loves to hear himself talk). He’s honestly really good at BS’ing and it’s the perfect event for such a vibrant individual with such a colorful personality -no he’s not gay, just obnoxious in a good way- that is until we realized he knows nothing about Information Technology. #WingItBaby! #ILoveMyJob. But seriously, I must have missed the part where it was going to be only IT students. #Woops?

I had my hair colored last Thursday. I love it. I can’t stop looking at it. It could be my favorite color ever and I don’t even care if I’m being a vain Bitch right now. #ILookGood.

I sit next to a kid (he’s literally 21) named Andrew at my work who answers customer calls. He never believes me when I tell him he looks like Carl from Walking Dead (probably because he doesn’t watch the show) . . . until I found this hat, took these pictures and made this collage. #TheEnd. I would also like to note that Carl is a little rat and for any of you that watch the show, he ALMOST deserved what he was about to get on the season finale. . . Almost.

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I have 3 showers for the next 3 weekends. I’m already annoyed and I haven’t even decided on what I’m going to wear yet. #TheWorstPart – I seriously hate dressing up in general and baby/wedding showers seem to be my biggest downfall.

Lastly,

I stole the photos and URL’s for today’s  link-ups (provided below) from Amanda over at Voyage of the MeeMee‘s blog because I was too lazy to scroll through my 300+ unread blogs to find each of your posts. . . I swear I will read them in a hot second, just let me get this off the press first. #ItsBeen5Days! #Thanks. XO.

If you have something to get off your chest on this beautiful little Wednesday, make sure you stop on over at Vodka And Soda for Kathy’s Weekly “Humpday Confessions” and link-up any post your heart desires with Liz From Fitness Blondie for her weekly Hump Day Blog Hop!!

 

Cheers,

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What Day Is It?

Hello Hump Day! This day. Seriously. Ok, so I have to get right on my confessions this week. Literally, have been in need of confessions since basically the moment I stopped typing confessions to Kathy LAST Wednesday. . . anyhow. Here goes:

Confession #1: I can’t stop crying today. Like legit tears. I don’t ever cry (Reference to last weeks post about my dog dying- no tears) so that just tells you what kinda day it’s been. I’m at work mind you, *ps. this has nothing to do with work- I LOVE my coworkers and job!* so I keep creeping off to the bathroom like I have to pee my pants every 30 minutes. It’s pretty much awful, awkward and I just want to go home. And NO, I will not be sharing the dirty details today. . . Thank You. OH and Thank god for good friends and chocolate covered strawberries. My best girlies had these delivered to my office today because they knew I was down. . . . ♥ Them!

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Confession #2: I swear I talk about Chocolate Covered Strawberries like every other post, I’m sorry. Actually, I’m not but I will make a valiant effort to dial it down. Actually, no. That’s a lie too. This entire confession will more realistically result in my desire to bring up C.C.S-Berries all the more now.

Confession #3: I haven’t given Paige a bath in four days. Actually that’s another lie, she hasn’t had a bath in like six-seven days. She showered with me on Saturday night though. . . so that counts. Although mentioning to my husband that our 2 year old took a shower was sort of awkward. The whole event was awkward really. . . “Where’s Paige?” – “In The Shower.” Just say it out loud and look at this face:Screen Shot 2014-01-13 at 2.20.38 PM

Now: picture it in the shower. #DamnWeirdBaby. Regardless, I don’t feel that guilty as I’ve found lots of parents don’t bathe their nuggets every day. . . or even every other. Or every other,other. I mean personally, If I shit my pants once or twice a day I would want baths on the regular. Paige? Just doesn’t care. I mean sure she likes baths but she also likes 8,567 other things ALL at once, so her bath sometimes falls down the list.  . . . Oh forget it, I was being lazy. But seriously, I have a hard enough time squeezing in a shower for myself most days and now this? #MomProblems

Confession #4: After posting my previous confession I am now slightly nervous petrified that Child Protective Services will come knocking on my door because I neglected to bathe my OCD baby. Trust me- her 15 minute hand washing session 4-6 times a day more then make up for her lack of a luke-warm tub. . . .you would think she’s Howard Hughes in the Aviator.* #ISwearImAGoodMother.

*If you didn’t get the reference then I’m sorry. It’s funny. Just Google that shit already. Then laugh.

Confession #5: I must do YOGA tonight. I haven’t partaken in this relaxing ritual it almost two weeks. I was really getting into it for a while. I’m not one for many extra curricular activities- unless you count running up and down the stairs 9 times a night because I can’t seem to ever remember what I’m looking for in our basement storage room, like EVER– but Yoga’s different. I’ve needed something for ME this winter. Something to get out of my own head for 30 or so minutes. I golf and bike in the summer but this harsh winter has been hard on the soul and Yoga has helped. Plus I enjoy watching Paige attempt the poses. . . she’s actually getting pretty good. #NamasteBitches.

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That’s a wrap! For all of you that don’t know: Wednesday is the perfect occasion to head on over to Kathy’s link-up at Vodka & Soda and take part in her “HumpDay Confessions“. A hilarious excuse to air your dirty laundry, her links are just what the doctor ordered for your mid-week blues!

Cheers,

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